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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25299007">Viva la Q</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/swimmingwolf59/pseuds/swimmingwolf59'>swimmingwolf59</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek, Star Trek: Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Some Humor, Some angst, bisexual picard anyone?, bridge shenanigans, major picard spoilers, next gen spoilers, space phenomena</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:42:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25299007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/swimmingwolf59/pseuds/swimmingwolf59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Q keeps saving Picard’s life over and over, despite Picard’s protests. Picard starts asking some hard questions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jean-Luc Picard/Q</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Viva la Q</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Have you ever noticed that a lot of Picard’s canon partners are people who are often defiant towards him because boy I sure have </p>
<p>This is primarily a next gen fic, so there are spoilers, especially for s6ep15 “tapestry” and s7ep25&amp;26 “all good things…” While there are also picard spoilers in here, it’s only in one section. If you read all the way up to “28 human years later”, and then skip to “Q had been…” you will miss all spoilers! </p>
<p>I really had fun writing this, I hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Though he would never admit it, not even to himself, Q was always keeping tabs on Jean-Luc Picard.</p>
<p>Just like humans of the 21<sup>st</sup> century habitually checked their phones for the time, Q habitually checked in on how Picard was faring. Most of the time, he didn’t let anyone in on his checks, mainly because they really were just peeks to make sure Picard wasn’t killing himself in some stupid way. Sometimes, because Q couldn’t help himself, he’d make his presence known, cause some mischief, delight in the way Picard snapped witty insults at him or reacted to his games. But it certainly wasn’t constant, and most of the time he didn’t even <em>think</em> about those pesky humans.</p>
<p>Really, Picard was <em>lucky</em> that Q had been paying attention when his artificial heart fused together. He’d be dead now, if not for him.</p>
<p>Human lifespans were such frail little things.</p>
<p>(It was infuriating that the object of his current fascination had to be a human.</p>
<p>“Why do you bother them so much?” Q had asked him once. “It’s not like they’re that interesting.”</p>
<p>Q had scoffed and said, “I like seeing them squirm,” because he would never admit to anyone that they <em>were</em> interesting, or at least <em>one</em> human was.</p>
<p>Jean-Luc Picard was smart, for a human; he could talk his way out of almost any situation. He was a bit arrogant, but because he knew what he and his crew were capable of. He could read others perfectly, even Q, which was a feat all on its own. And he got so hilariously worked up over Q’s antics that Q couldn’t help but find him fascinating. Enrapturing. Q was the moth and Picard was the flame, and it was only because of Q’s amazing abilities of restraint that he wasn’t showing up on the <em>Enterprise</em> at every given moment.</p>
<p>Q had <em>some</em> dignity, at least.)</p>
<p>It bothered him that human lifespans were so short. It bothered him that Picard’s presence in the space-time continuum was so small, so insignificant. He could die from <em>anything</em>, at any moment. It was a pity that Riker had turned down his generous gift of the Q power; if he hadn’t, <em>he</em> could be the one to keep Picard safe. Picard liked him well enough that he surely would accept Riker’s help.</p>
<p>But he had refused, and now the responsibility fell on Q.</p>
<p>And he did it, because he hated thinking of a universe without Picard in it.</p>
<p>Picard had even seemed grateful the first time Q saved him and gave him the chance to address his biggest regret in life. And it had been <em>fun</em>, trouncing around in an imagining of his past together, being Picard’s only confidant. It was the closest they’d come to having an <em>adventure. </em>Q was looking forward to the next time they could do it.</p>
<p>But when Picard lay dying in the <em>Enterprise’s</em> Sickbay from a hidden mine he’d stepped on and Q once again whisked him away to his world of white, Picard was scowling.</p>
<p>“This again, Q?” he growled. “Don’t try and tell me this really is the afterlife.”</p>
<p>“Even if it was true, you wouldn’t believe me,” Q said, miffed by his sour attitude. “Is there another regret you’d like to fix?”</p>
<p>“No, I’ve learned my lesson,” Picard snapped. “Return me to my ship.”</p>
<p>Q scoffed. “You and your ship! You were <em>dying</em> back there, you do realize that, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“…There was too much atmospheric interference for our tricorders to pick up on the mines,” Picard said after a pause. “I’m lucky it didn’t blow me into a million pieces.”</p>
<p>“Luck, divine intervention, whatever you want to call it,” Q said, grinning. “Come now, Picard – your poor little doctor is working so hard to try and save you, let’s give her some time to think she actually did something, hm?”</p>
<p>“What are you playing at, Q?” Picard asked, squinting at him suspiciously. “…Are you saying you saved me?”</p>
<p>“All I’m saying is a little gratitude would be nice.”</p>
<p>Picard scoffed and crossed his arms. “I’m uncomfortable owing you favors.”</p>
<p>Q laughed. “Well, now you know how I felt.” </p>
<p>“…Why did you do it? What’s the catch?”</p>
<p>“Does there have to be a catch?” Q asked, spreading his arms out. “Maybe I just wanted to say hello!”</p>
<p>“No, there’s always a catch with you,” Picard insisted, putting a hand to his chin. “Though I honestly can’t imagine why you would want to save me. You don’t even seem to have one of your silly games in mind.”</p>
<p>“I <em>always</em> have silly games in mind!” Q said. “What would you like this time? Should we jump into the future? That can be—”</p>
<p>“Is there a reason you don’t want me to die?” Picard cut over him.</p>
<p>Q was silent for a moment. “…Who said anything about that?”</p>
<p>“So it’s true,” Picard hummed. “For some reason, you’re invested in my life. Why? Is it so you can antagonize me for eternity?”</p>
<p>“<em>Yes</em>, obviously. No one gets as worked up as you do – you should really see your face!” Q laughed. “Even that barbarian Worf’s reactions pale in comparison to yours.”</p>
<p>“So, what you’re saying is, if I died, you would miss me?” Picard said, disbelief painted all over his face.</p>
<p>“<em>Me</em>? Miss <em>you</em>?” Q scoffed. “It would be the other way around, <em>mon Capitan</em>. Who will deliver you such delightfully charming antics in the afterlife? Your life—or death, I should say—would be incredibly dull without me.”</p>
<p>“I <em>like</em> dull,” Picard snapped irritably.</p>
<p>“Ah, but that’s not entirely true, is it, Jean-Luc? Yes, there is a part of you that sits around reading Shakespeare and drinking tea, but what about the other half?” Q circled him. “What about the Picard that lost his real heart in a bar fight? The Picard that engaged in swordfight to save a lady? Part of you craves <em>adventure. </em>I can give that to you. I can give you an <em>eternity</em>—”</p>
<p>“You’re deflecting,” Picard complained. “You can’t even admit it, can you? You’re…<em>intrigued</em> by me. You’ll miss me if I die. That’s why you insist on saving me and playing these silly charades. Why don’t you just come out and <em>say</em> it, Q?”</p>
<p>Q was suddenly uncomfortable. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Send me back to my ship, and I’ll forget this incident.” It shouldn’t be <em>possible</em> for a human to have power over a Q like this, and in ordinary circumstances, Q would just laugh and ignore him.</p>
<p>But for some reason, Q felt unnerved by how close Picard was to stumbling upon something, something that Q refused to think about. Suddenly, it seemed too dangerous to let him remain here, having this conversation.</p>
<p>So he glowered and growled, “Jean-Luc Picard, you are the most <em>irritating</em> human I have ever met.”</p>
<p>And snapped him away before he could retort.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Picard thought of himself as a fairly cautious person.</p>
<p>He considered things extensively before he took action. He consulted his senior officers when he found it difficult to see a clear path ahead. He shoved his emotions aside and did his best to assess situations calmly and without bias. He considered the beliefs of others, the Prime Directive, and the laws of whatever planet the dispute was occurring on before coming to decisions. He prided himself in his ability to think clearly and objectively.</p>
<p>The only times he didn’t do this was when the people he cared about were in immediate danger.</p>
<p>In the heat of the moment, Picard had no time to think. In the heat of the moment, there were only two options: save his friend, or let them die.</p>
<p>It was for this reason that, during a crucial negotiation with the Romulans that had gone wrong, Picard shoved Riker out of the way and received a phaser blast point blank, right in the chest. It seemed over for him, but at least he could take solace from the fact that Riker had survived, that the <em>Enterprise</em> would be in good hands.</p>
<p>But Picard woke up in that damned white space again and sighed heavily. He stood up, and sure enough, Q was nearby, garbed just in his fake Starfleet uniform this time.</p>
<p>“How many times is this going to happen, Q?” Picard demanded. “You can’t keep bringing me back to life forever.”</p>
<p>“Oh, but I can,” Q said. “It’s quite easy for me, in fact.”</p>
<p>“But I don’t <em>want</em> to be immortal!” Picard snapped.</p>
<p>Q snorted. “Oh please, you humans have such noble ideas of death, but I assure you, it’s much more fun this way.”</p>
<p>“Do you only ever think about <em>games</em>? Is <em>nothing</em> real to you?” Picard began pacing abruptly. “I suppose it wouldn’t, considering that you can just…<em>twist</em> everything as you see fit.”</p>
<p>“You and I don’t understand reality on the same terms – you couldn’t possibly understand it.” Q stalked towards him. “But your version of reality is so…<em>limited</em> that I have no choice but to bend it.”</p>
<p>“No choice?” Picard scoffed. “What do you know of choice? You’ve never had to choose anything – you just eliminate whatever is in your way!”</p>
<p>“Never had to choose—oh, Picard, you sure enjoy <em>angering</em> me, don’t you?” Storm clouds floated in suddenly, rumbling ominously. “Humans make so much ruckus about freewill and choice, but let me tell you – none of it matters. Not a single bit. You know why? Because humans are such a small part of the universe that nearly nothing you do will have any impact on <em>anything</em> other than your own, miserable lives.”</p>
<p>Q held his arms out. “But me – anything I do could cause repercussions throughout the whole <em>universe</em>. That’s why the Continuum is so strict – that’s why we can’t just <em>choose</em> to do whatever we want. Do you see now, how small your reality really is? How <em>insignificant </em>the choices are that you’re so proud of?”</p>
<p>“Then why keep me alive, if I’m so <em>insignificant</em>?” Picard pressed. “Don’t tell me I somehow rupture the space-time continuum again.”</p>
<p>“You will, as you have done before. We’ve already gone over that.”</p>
<p>“So there’s another reason.”</p>
<p>Q scowled. “Must you ask this every time I see you?”</p>
<p>Picard scowled back. “Must you save me every time I almost die?”</p>
<p>Q scoffed and looked away. “You’re a fool if you don’t understand why I’m so interested in you.”</p>
<p><em>Q’s interest in you has always been very similar to that of a master and his beloved pet</em>, Data had said, or would say. Picard grimaced. “I refuse to be your <em>pet</em>, Q.”</p>
<p>“<em>Pet</em>?! Oh, that’s a good one, I’ll have to remember that.” Q snapped his fingers and Picard felt his body contort and twist. Suddenly, he was a small Australian cattle dog, splayed on his stomach with his foreign limbs stretched out every which way. Q picked him up by the scruff of the neck and observed him. “Hm, I suppose you are more enjoyable this way.”</p>
<p>“<em>Bark!</em>”</p>
<p>“You really are too easy to rile up, Jean-Luc,” Q chuckled, but dropped Picard and shifted him back as he fell.</p>
<p>Picard stumbled, but landed on his feet. He was more irritated than he had been when he’d arrived. “Don’t <em>ever</em> do that again.”</p>
<p>“What are you going to do if I do, <em>attack</em> me?” Q laughed.</p>
<p>“Don’t tempt me,” Picard grumbled. “Is it impossible for you to be honest, Q?”</p>
<p>“When has honesty ever gotten anyone anywhere?” Q sniffed. “It causes nothing but trouble.”</p>
<p>“I thought you liked causing trouble?”</p>
<p>“<em>Fine</em> – you want to know why I’m interested in you? You want me to say it? I’ll say it, Jean-Luc.” Q was suddenly close to him, too close. Picard wanted to step back, but he was frozen as Q placed his hands on his face. “I like you. I <em>adore</em> you. You hold your own against me and I find that <em>irresistible.</em>”</p>
<p>Picard couldn’t move; he couldn’t say anything. It wasn’t the Q power keeping him there, but something else, something scarier.</p>
<p>“So, what are you going to do now that you know, Jean-Luc?” Q sneered and finally stepped back. Picard took a shuddering breath. “The ball’s in your court.”</p>
<p>A light flashed and suddenly Picard was back in Sickbay. He gasped, his chest seizing and his body shaking. Everything hurt, and being thrust suddenly back into it made his eyes roll back in his head.</p>
<p>“He’s going into shock,” Beverly said from somewhere above him. “Give me 2ccs of delactovine.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Doctor.”</p>
<p>She injected it into him and Picard gasped again, his back thudding back on the bed as he relaxed. He blinked rapidly, the world coming back into focus around him.</p>
<p>Beverly was standing over him, and she let out a breath as she realized he was conscious. “…Jean-Luc, you are the luckiest man alive. You were hit point-blank with a phaser set on kill and live to tell the tale.”</p>
<p><em>Luck, or divine intervention</em>, Q’s voice rang in his head, and Picard shut his eyes.</p>
<p>He certainly didn’t feel lucky.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Captain,” Deanna said, watching Picard pace back and forth and back and forth across the floor of his ready room. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”</p>
<p>“I—I need to say something, but—”</p>
<p>She raised an eyebrow. “Not until you’ve worn a path through the floorboards?”</p>
<p>This got a small chuckle out of him anyway. Deanna could tell he was deeply agitated by something, and it worried her. It wasn’t often that Picard was this preoccupied and concerned to the point that he couldn’t eventually open himself up to talk to her about it. Even if it took him a while, once he decided to talk to her, he did. It wasn’t usually like <em>this</em>.</p>
<p>She decided to give him a nudge. “Does it have to do with your recent near-death experience?”</p>
<p>A huge spike of agitation, but he said nothing. Definitely a yes.</p>
<p>She considered her words for a moment. “Death isn’t an easy thing to face, even for someone as experienced as a Starfleet captain—”</p>
<p>“No, no, it’s not about that.” He stopped abruptly, staring into his fish tank at his zebra turkeyfish. “Do you remember when my artificial heart gave out, and Q saved me and gave me a chance to try and change things I regretted about my past?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Well, the last few times I’ve almost died, he’s done the same thing. I mean, it’s <em>not</em> the same – he saves me, but it’s not for…a concrete <em>reason</em>. He just does it – he won’t let me die.”</p>
<p>Deanna stared at him. “…And you wish he would?”</p>
<p>“Yes! Don’t misunderstand, Counselor, it’s not that I <em>want</em> to die, I just don’t like him interfering in my life. I should’ve died when my heart gave out; I should’ve died when I stepped on that mine; I should’ve died from this phaser blast. But here I still am, because of Q.” Picard collapsed into his chair. “But that’s not the worst part.”</p>
<p>“Has he been harming you?” Deanna asked, alarmed. “Was he playing games with you?”</p>
<p>“Q’s <em>always</em> playing games.” Picard stared out the window. “But…he told me he’s romantically <em>interested</em> in me. That he finds me…<em>irresistible</em>.”</p>
<p>Even Deanna had trouble telling how he felt about this. His emotions weren’t as negative as she would’ve predicted. “That’s…certainly unexpected.”</p>
<p>“It’s probably just another game,” he said, but he didn’t believe it.</p>
<p>“But you don’t think so,” she said carefully.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what I think.” Picard stood again and resumed pacing. “I doubt Q even understands romance the way we do, so who <em>knows</em> what he meant? Have you ever picked up anything from him, Counselor?”</p>
<p>“He has always shown interest in you whenever we’ve run into him, in a way that could be read as flirtatious,” Deanna said. “He’s difficult to read though, because as you’ve said, his emotions are different from ours. I also know that he is very rarely honest, so I would recommend treading lightly, Captain.”</p>
<p>“Agreed,” Picard mumbled. “But…I’ve never told anyone about this, but Q once told me that if he had known my preferences, he would’ve first appeared to me as a woman. I suppose…I suppose this wasn’t totally unexpected.”</p>
<p>Deanna paused. “Then how do you feel, Captain? Your feelings are the most important thing to consider here.”</p>
<p>He flinched like she had slapped him. “<em>Feelings? </em>Who said anything about <em>feelings</em>?”</p>
<p>“I meant any feelings, not just romantically. Do you find him repulsive? Attractive? Annoying? Interesting?”</p>
<p>He didn’t answer.</p>
<p>She considered, then added, “Sexual attraction is nothing to be ashamed of.”</p>
<p>Picard was so immediately uncomfortable by this statement that Deanna wondered if maybe she had said too much. “I’m not sexually attracted to <em>Q</em>, of all people!”</p>
<p>But he wasn’t sure – he didn’t know.</p>
<p>Deanna stood from her chair. “I think you need to take the time to consider how you really feel, Captain. Try not to talk to him until you know for sure what you want, and if he ever tries to force anything on you, please call one of us. I’m sure Will or Worf would take great pleasure in attacking him for you.”</p>
<p>Picard huffed out a small laugh. He had his hand to his chin, and he stopped pacing to stare out the window. “Thank you, Counselor.”</p>
<p>She left, but stood uncertainly outside his door. She had to admit she was worried about the Captain – she didn’t trust Q, and she worried his intentions weren’t pure. But as much as she distrusted Q, she trusted Picard, and she knew that, out of all of them, he was the one most immune to Q’s trickery. If anyone could hold their own against Q, it was him.</p>
<p>But this had truly shaken him. She just hoped that he would be able to think clearly through it, as he usually did.</p>
<p>If he couldn’t, then that was what her job as ship’s counselor was for. She would intervene if she felt Picard was ever being coerced against his will. As long as it was of his own free will however, she saw no harm in giving in to one’s desires every once in a while.</p>
<p>It might do the Captain some good to loosen up a bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Picard was not the sort of person to let his personal life affect his duties. He did his best to stay attuned and alert to what was going on during his shift, but he had to admit it was a relief when he turned the ship over to Data and could let his thoughts take over.</p>
<p>It still wasn’t really processing, what Q had told him. Looking back, it was obvious that Q had been flirting with him in some fashion, but at the time it had just seemed like more mockery. It still <em>could</em> be, he supposed, but somehow…just as he had known Q had been serious about the rupture in the space-time continuum, Picard knew he was serious about this. Over the years, he had learned to read Q, and he had never heard him as serious as he was when he’d said it.</p>
<p>But if that was the way Q treated people he <em>liked</em>, it was hard to imagine how he treated people he hated.</p>
<p>Sighing, Picard entered his quarters and began getting ready for bed. He probably just needed to rest – that was what Beverly was always telling him. And he had been a horrible patient, as always, insisting on checking himself out early even though he wasn’t fully healed, straining himself too hard to the point of opening his wounds again. Q had apparently healed his life-threatening ones, but he had left the rest, and like a fool Picard had yet to let them heal properly. He was in pain. He was tired. An alien who had done nothing but antagonize him since the day they met just told him he liked him.</p>
<p>It was a lot for one person to handle.</p>
<p>So he got into bed, but found himself just lying there, staring at the ceiling. He was realizing that it had been a long time since someone had essentially asked him out. As a Starfleet captain, he was constantly on the move, making it nearly impossible to meet anyone long-term. He hadn’t had a long-term partner since Nella had left the <em>Enterprise</em>. After she had left, he had basically given up on having a partner, as even when they lived on the <em>Enterprise</em> with him it didn’t work out. But here was an opportunity for a relationship that didn’t have any complications from working together or worries of sending his partner to their death. And upon realizing that, he realized two other things in quick succession:</p>
<p>He was lonely.</p>
<p>He was, apparently, horny.</p>
<p>Picard preferred women generally, but he wasn’t much of a romancer anyway – it was rare for him to feel anything like love for anyone, so he took it where he got it, regardless of gender.</p>
<p>So it certainly wasn’t that that stood in his way.</p>
<p>Though honestly, there was frighteningly little standing in his way.</p>
<p>He didn’t quite understand it himself. He found Q irritating, frustrating, sometimes even intolerable. But he also knew that Q could be…caring, in his own weird, mocking type of way. He had saved Picard all of these times, after all, and he had given him the chance to save the universe. That didn’t necessarily redeem him, but it gave him more depth, a more complex puzzle of a character.  </p>
<p>And Picard was a sucker for complex puzzles.</p>
<p>“Dammit,” he muttered as he threw the covers off of himself and got up. There would be no sleeping tonight. He stalked over to the replicator and growled to it, “Earl gray. Hot.”</p>
<p>It was ridiculous he was even considering this. Everyone on board this ship would be appalled if they knew he was considering this. <em>Troi</em> had probably been appalled when he told her, though she had done a remarkable job of hiding it. Hell, Picard himself should be appalled.</p>
<p>And yet he wasn’t.</p>
<p>Apparently he liked his partners the way he liked his tea – gray.</p>
<p>Perhaps he was overthinking it. For all he knew, Q might not have been talking about love; maybe he had just meant sex. It seemed more likely, knowing him. And besides, committing once didn’t mean it had to be a long-term type of thing. Q was constantly coming and going anyway, it wasn’t like it would be a consistent relationship.</p>
<p>He was dangerously starting to think there might not be any harm in giving it a try.</p>
<p>He needed to sleep.</p>
<p>“Au contraire, I think sleep is the last thing you need,” Q said, suddenly lying on Picard’s bed.</p>
<p>Picard startled and nearly dropped his tea. “Q! What the devil—are you reading my thoughts?”</p>
<p>“Really, Jean-Luc, listening to you say to yourself ‘I need to sleep’ hardly counts as reading your thoughts. I would use the word <em>eavesdropping</em>.”</p>
<p>“Why are you <em>here</em>?” Picard snapped. His heart was thumping quickly against his ribcage, and he didn’t know why. Or rather, he <em>knew</em> why, but he didn’t want to admit it.</p>
<p>Q raised his eyebrows. “You know why I’m here, surely.”</p>
<p>“If you’re here to tempt me, it’s not going to work.” Picard leaned against the wall and sipped his tea, trying to regain his composure. “I’m not doing anything with you unless I’m one hundred percent certain.”</p>
<p>“Who said anything about tempting? Am I not allowed to visit the object of my affection?”</p>
<p>Picard startled. “No, no – don’t <em>say</em> that!”</p>
<p>“What? You wanted me to be honest, Jean-Luc.” Q smirked at him. “And it’s not like you can come to me. I thought I’d pop in and see what conclusions you’ve come to, but all I find is you trying desperately to wrap your little head around a frighteningly simple concept. You think too much, <em>mon Capitan</em>.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to be your <em>plaything</em>,” Picard said, setting his tea down. “If this is going to happen, there needs to be…<em>reciprocation</em>. I refuse to just be another pawn in one of your games.”</p>
<p>“…I don’t mind being a bottom, if that’s what you mean.” Q rolled onto his back and spread his legs open, and then proceeded to waggle his eyebrows at Picard.</p>
<p>Picard just gaped at him. “That’s—are you half-witted?!”</p>
<p>“Of course not, I just wanted to see your reaction!” Q laughed and sat up. “I don’t want you to just be a plaything either. That’s boring.”</p>
<p>“What do you want then?” Picard’s mouth worked. He hated being this direct. “Sex?”</p>
<p>“Are you offering?” Q shot back.</p>
<p>“…Possibly.” Q opened his mouth, but Picard held out his hand to interrupt him. “But not until I hear from you what you’re after here. If you just want sex, fine, but if you want something more, you have to tell me now.”</p>
<p>“Why so many complications? Do you demand this of all your potential partners?”</p>
<p>“No. But you are not like my usual potential partners.”</p>
<p>Q smirked. “Because I’m omnipotent? Immortal? Able to take on any form?”</p>
<p>Picard raised an eyebrow. “Because you have tricked me before, probably will again, and very rarely ever consider consent.”</p>
<p>“Alright, so you don’t trust me – then why try and lay out anything on the table? What if we just try it, and figure the rest out later? No strings attached.”</p>
<p>Picard hesitated. “That sounds suspicious, coming from you.”</p>
<p>“If you still don’t trust me and don’t like it enough, we’ll go back to how things were before. I’ll annoy you, you’ll annoy me, and we won’t ever talk about this again.”</p>
<p>“…You’re hiding something,” Picard decided, and felt some satisfaction in noticing Q’s face tighten. “But you want this, don’t you? Maybe so much that you don’t want to admit it.”</p>
<p>“And you thought you could ever just be my plaything,” Q murmured, and suddenly, startlingly, he was dead-serious.</p>
<p>Picard considered him. “…Then kiss me.”</p>
<p>He expected Q to surge forward, forcefully tilt his chin up, and kiss him so deeply he could feel it throughout his whole body. Some traitorous part of him wanted it so much that just the thought of it made his toes curl.</p>
<p>But Q was strangely hesitant – he did approach him, stepping so close into his personal space that it would be all too easy to close the distance, but then he just stood there, observing him.</p>
<p>Picard scoffed. “What? Too afraid to?”</p>
<p>Q glared at him, and then reluctantly admitted, “I’m not too familiar with human acts of pleasure. The only ones I know of are rather repulsive.”</p>
<p>Picard heftily rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>Q rolled his eyes right back and crossed his arms. “Well? Are you going to show me how to do this or not?”</p>
<p>Picard wanted, strangely, to laugh. “Good lord, what in the world has my life come to?”</p>
<p>And he kissed him.</p>
<p>It was a strange kiss, to say the least. Q didn’t really know what he was doing, but there was something about the way Q’s mouth was shaped that seemed to press in on Picard in an especially appealing way. Perhaps it had something to do with the imperfections of Q’s corporeal form, but whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t <em>bad</em>.</p>
<p>There was something alluring about the desperation behind it too, the pure, wild <em>want</em>.</p>
<p>It was still a little hard to believe that Q felt this way about him. It made him seem a bit more…vulnerable.</p>
<p>Even more hard to believe, Picard <em>liked</em> it.</p>
<p>Before it could go any further, Picard broke off the kiss and took a moment to catch his breath. Then he said, “Listen, no one can know about this, alright?”</p>
<p>Q pouted. “What, afraid I’m going to broadcast it over the communication systems?”</p>
<p>“The last time you knew of my love affair, you kidnapped all of my senior officers and made us reenact Robin Hood!”</p>
<p>Q’s eyes lit up. “Oh, now that <em>was</em> fun! We should do that again. Would you like to be Lady Marian this time?”</p>
<p>“No!” Picard growled, but he couldn’t help but grin as he pushed Q onto the bed.</p>
<p>They didn’t talk much, after that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, Picard overslept.</p>
<p>When he awoke, Q was still there, surprisingly. He wasn’t asleep, per se – unconscious was a better term. Slightly phased out of this time and space was an even better one.</p>
<p>Picard watched him for a moment and then, seeing that he was satisfactorily not-present, sighed.</p>
<p>It had been good. Way better than he had expected. Picard had taunted Q and Q had taunted him and it was just the right amount of teasing that really got his blood boiling. Q hadn’t used any of his powers to control him—just to materialize some supplies—and he hadn’t even been joking about being a bottom, surprisingly. He had let Picard do whatever the hell he wanted, and it had been strangely <em>fun</em>.</p>
<p>He was relieved to realize he didn’t regret it.</p>
<p>Less relieved to realize it hadn’t really been enough.</p>
<p>It had certainly been a long time since he’d been <em>this</em> aroused.</p>
<p>Q snapped back into this space and time so abruptly that it was startling, even though Picard had been staring directly at him. His eyes rolled around for a moment, unfocused, before landing on Picard.</p>
<p>“Good morning, darling,” Q murmured, smirking. “Have I been keeping you waiting?”</p>
<p>“Oh, shut up,” Picard laughed and, admittedly bothered and impatient, leaned over to kiss him.</p>
<p>They kissed for a while, sloppy and needy, before Q pulled back with a grin. “No one told me you were so horny, <em>mon Capitan</em>.”</p>
<p>“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” Picard said, and started to roll over onto him.</p>
<p>Just then, the door chimed and Picard, panicking, practically shoved Q out of the bed.</p>
<p>“You’re lucky I can just disappear,” Q chuckled, amused, and vanished.</p>
<p>Picard sighed and got up, attempting to straighten out his bedsheets. “Come.”</p>
<p>Beverly walked in, right on time for their daily breakfast, but stopped just far enough inside that the door closed behind her. She raised her eyebrows at the fact that Picard was still quite obviously in his pajamas. “Jean-Luc. You slept in?”</p>
<p>She glanced at his disheveled pajamas, then at his disheveled sheets, and then back at him. Her expression was almost devilishly delighted. “Did you have someone over?”</p>
<p>“No,” Picard said, too quickly.</p>
<p>She stared at him for a while, eyebrows still raised, but thankfully decided to drop it. “If you say so.”</p>
<p>They had breakfast as usual, just coffee and croissants. Picard was really trying to listen to whatever gossip Beverly was talking about, but his mind kept wandering back to Q. What had happened almost felt surreal, now that he was sitting here with Beverly. This was normal, and last night was <em>not</em>. Last night was—oh, he probably shouldn’t be thinking about it when Beverly was staring at him so intensely like that.</p>
<p>“…Did you hear what I said?” she said, a bit sharp.</p>
<p>He sighed and rubbed his head. “No, I’m sorry, I’m a bit…preoccupied.”</p>
<p>“Are you feeling unwell?” she asked. Whether she was on-duty or not hardly seemed to matter to Beverly – her doctor’s coat was always on.</p>
<p>“No, I just didn’t…sleep well.”</p>
<p>It was the wrong thing to say – Picard winced as Beverly’s eyes lit up. “So you <em>did</em> have someone over!”</p>
<p>“Alright, if I admit it, will you drop it?” Picard barked, blushing slightly.</p>
<p>“If you insist, Captain,” she said, grinning, and Picard held back a groan.</p>
<p>It was only now occurring to him that she would probably run off and instantly tell Troi. Hopefully Troi wouldn’t then tell <em>her</em> about the conversation they’d had about Q. Beverly would instantly put two and two together, and he could only imagine what she would say about that. He probably should tell her, eventually; they were close enough that he would feel uncomfortable keeping silent about it forever.</p>
<p>But not now. Now…he wanted to keep it something private. Unscrutinized.</p>
<p>Especially since it was <em>Q</em>.</p>
<p>“Well, whoever it is I’m <em>happy</em> for you, Jean-Luc.” Beverly smiled and reached over to squeeze his knee.</p>
<p>“Oh don’t go off – it may not even be anything permanent,” Picard replied gruffly. His shoulders were defensively tense. “It was just…an <em>experiment</em>.”</p>
<p>“Well still, I know you don’t ‘experiment’ with just anybody,” Beverly said, which made Picard wince again.</p>
<p>If only she understood how low his standards had really dropped.</p>
<p>“Let’s just drop it,” Picard insisted, gesturing at her. “Please, continue what you were saying before. I’m listening.”</p>
<p>She raised an eyebrow like she didn’t believe him, but went on to talk about Nurse Ogawa’s toddler and the shenanigans they were going through. She also talked about Wesley and the letter she had received from him yesterday. Throughout the mostly one-sided discussion, she kept staring at him and grinning, which was honestly more embarrassing than if she had just kept pestering him about it, but Picard supposed he should be grateful.</p>
<p>She left soon after to get ready for the day. Picard pulled on his uniform, made sure everything was straight and proper, and then left his quarters to head for the bridge. He was tired, he hadn’t lied about that, but he also felt like he was buzzing, like his blood hadn’t quite settled under his skin.</p>
<p>He felt insane.</p>
<p>He probably was.</p>
<p>But he hadn’t felt this stirred up in a long time.</p>
<p>The second he stepped foot on the bridge, Troi turned to look at him, her wide grin and knowing look following him all the way to his chair. He sat with as much dignity as he could muster and pretended his ears weren’t burning.</p>
<p>Sometimes he really, <em>really</em> disliked that she could read his emotions.</p>
<p>“Did you sleep well, Captain?” she asked cheekily.</p>
<p>Picard side-eyed her and huffed, “Fine, thank you.”</p>
<p>Riker, sitting on Picard’s other side, stared between the two of them, eyebrows raised, but thankfully didn’t ask any questions.</p>
<p>“Mr. Data, how far are we from Deep Space 3?” Picard asked, clearing his throat.</p>
<p>Data swiveled around in the ops chair he had just sat down in. “We are exactly one hour, ten minutes, and 36 seconds from Deep Space 3.”</p>
<p>“Good. Inform me when we arrive – I’ll be in my ready room.” Picard stood and nodded at Riker. “You have the Bridge, Number One.”</p>
<p>“Captain, a word?” Riker said, striding to catch up before Picard could enter his ready room.</p>
<p>Picard turned to face him. “Of course.”</p>
<p>Riker looked around the ship. No one else was paying attention to them, and the only one in earshot was Data. Grinning, Riker shot Picard a <em>look </em>and fingered his own collar. “You might want to pull your collar up a bit, sir.”</p>
<p>For a long moment, Picard didn’t catch his meaning. He just stared at him, eyebrows furrowed, trying to understand why he would possibly need to pull up his collar. Then, realization hit him like a punch to the gut and his eyes widened. Hurriedly, he reached up to feel his neck, and sure enough, there it was – a bruised bite mark, no doubt bright red like a beacon.</p>
<p>He suddenly felt <em>murderous</em>.</p>
<p>“Inquiry,” Data interjected. “Why would the Captain—?”</p>
<p>Luckily, Riker had quick reflexes. He bounded over to Data, slapped a hand on his shoulder, and cut over him, “I’ll explain it to you later, alright?”</p>
<p>“…Yes sir,” Data replied, looking confused.</p>
<p>Everyone was staring at them now, so Picard yanked up his collar and made a hasty retreat to his ready room. When he was finally alone, he slumped into his chair with a groan. How <em>embarrassing</em>.</p>
<p><em>Damn </em>Beverly for not telling him about the hickey.</p>
<p>And damn Q for putting it in such a visible area in the first place.</p>
<p>Apparently it wasn’t going to be as easy to hide this as he had originally thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Q stayed away for a couple of days, perhaps picking up on Picard’s irritation with him about the hickey.</p>
<p>Riker hadn’t asked him any questions, which was a relief, but it didn’t stop him from…<em>grinning</em> at him all the time. Between him, Troi, and Beverly it was like there was someone needling him about it wherever he went. At least Troi hadn’t told anyone <em>who </em>it was, but it almost didn’t seem to matter. Picard didn’t know how he got stuck with a ship of such nosy officers.</p>
<p>“So. Got any plans for tonight, Captain?” Riker asked, grin audible in his voice as he stepped onto the turbolift with Picard after their shift was over.</p>
<p>This was the closest he had come to asking about it, and Picard sighed. “I’m hoping to have a quiet evening to catch up on my reading. I’ve been too busy for it recently.”</p>
<p>That was the wrong thing to say – he knew it as soon as Riker’s eyebrows shot up. “Busy, huh? Researching something? Or was it more…personal?”</p>
<p>“Don’t you have anyone else to pester like this?” Picard finally complained, but Riker just laughed.</p>
<p>“No one as interesting.”</p>
<p>“You need more hobbies,” Picard insisted, and then stepped off the turbolift when it reached his floor.</p>
<p>“Have a good night, Captain,” Riker said, and somehow managed to make even <em>that</em> sound suggestive.</p>
<p>Picard turned to give him a look, but the doors had already slid shut, so he just huffed and continued on his way. When he got to his quarters, he ordered a light dinner from the replicator, changed out of his uniform, and settled down for the night.</p>
<p>Later, he <em>was</em> trying to relax with a cup of Earl Gray and Shakespeare, but all of Riker’s pestering had got him thinking about Q again. He was still trying to decide if it was something he wanted to pursue or not – there was a large part of him that wanted to, since occasional sexual meetings were harmless, but another part of him felt like he was doing something he shouldn’t. He tried to rationalize it, but couldn’t. Q had long since stopped tormenting him in purely annoying ways, and recently had only been using his powers to help him, or guide him. And if it wasn’t fear of manipulation or losing control that made him hesitate, then what was it?</p>
<p>His usual fear of commitment, perhaps.</p>
<p>“Don’t you ever get tired of reading that book?” Q asked, leaning over the back of his chair.</p>
<p>Picard glanced up at him, saw the easy smirk on his face, and realized, strangely, that he had missed him. It was nothing intense, just a small warmth in his stomach – it was good to see him.</p>
<p>“Well, about time you showed up,” Picard said, smiling as he pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him fiercely.</p>
<p>“Why Jean-Luc,” Q said when they parted, “did you miss me?”</p>
<p>“It’s too soon to say,” Picard replied, evasive as ever. “You tend to annoy me shortly after you arrive.”</p>
<p>Q huffed out a laugh. “Oh please, I know you enjoy it. All the arguing keeps you on your toes.”</p>
<p>“Whatever you have to tell yourself,” Picard said lightly, and Q made a guttural noise in the back of his throat, somewhere between a purr and a growl.</p>
<p>“I believe <em>you</em> are the annoying one, <em>mon Capitan</em>.” And he leaned down to kiss him so deeply that the shockwaves from it shook Picard’s entire body. It had been a long, <em>long</em> time since someone had kissed him like this, and he realized abruptly that he <em>wanted</em> it, wanted it so much he didn’t really care about the consequences.</p>
<p>“I must say Q,” Picard murmured when they parted, “I like these private meetings much better than when you get the whole crew involved.”</p>
<p>Q chuckled. “Ah, as reserved as ever, hm? But you’re right – it’s more fun when it’s just the two of us.”</p>
<p>Q hopped over the chair and landed on his lap, abruptly and rather painfully. Picard opened his mouth to protest, but then Q straddled him and kissed him again, even better this time now that they were lined up properly. Shakespeare fell out of his hands, landing on the floor with an extremely loud <em>thump</em> that made Picard jump but Q laugh.</p>
<p>“Finally got rid of that book,” he said, and promptly made Picard forget all about it.</p>
<p>“So, is this a thing now?” Q asked when they had finally moved to the bed. “Did I pass the test?”</p>
<p>Picard still hesitated, but he was busy biting his way down Q’s throat as revenge for the hickey, so it gave him an excuse not to reply for a moment. He hardly had any foot to stand on, considering here he was in bed with Q, yet again. And there was something so enticing about his body – not just his physical form, but the energy of whatever made up his species crackled around Picard like lightning when they were this close and a man could easily get addicted on it. Pure heat flooded through him and he decided, what the hell, he didn’t have anything to feel ashamed about.</p>
<p>“If I say yes, will you finally stop talking?” Picard growled.</p>
<p>He could feel Q’s laugh reverberate in his throat. “Only if you make me.”</p>
<p>And nothing else really needed to be said, after that. (Picard did a very good job of shutting Q up.) It didn’t matter that he was starting to enjoy it way too much. It wasn’t like he was committing to anything, really. It was just an indulgence.</p>
<p>A once-in-a-while type of thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was not a once-in-a-while type of thing.</p>
<p>“Okay, Jean-Luc, now I <em>have</em> to know – I know you’re seeing someone!” Beverly accused about a week later. This was the fifth time she’d walked in to find Picard still in his pajamas and having just barely shooed an overly-amused Q away. “Who—?”</p>
<p>“Doctor, please, it’s no one important,” Picard interjected weakly in an attempt to appease her.</p>
<p>Today, however, she would not be deterred. She laughed in disbelief, hands on her hips. “‘No one <em>important</em>’? Jean-Luc, I have <em>never</em> known you to spend this many nights with someone ‘not important’. Why don’t you want me to know?”</p>
<p>“Because…it’s <em>embarrassing</em>,” he finally admitted. “You’ll be upset.”  </p>
<p>“<em>Upset</em>?” Her lips twisted into a concerned frown. “Jean-Luc, you know I’m happy when you’re happy, don’t you? I would never want you to think I’d get in the way of your—”</p>
<p>“No, no.” Picard waved her off. “I meant you won’t <em>like </em>him.”</p>
<p>She wasn’t fazed by the ‘him’ part, nor had Picard expected her to be. They’d known each other long enough by now that, even without Picard ever explicitly saying anything about it to her, she knew generally where his affections laid. “All of your other partners I’ve met have been very nice.”</p>
<p>He groaned and placed his head in his hands. It was going to be even <em>worse</em> now to tell her. “Beverly—”</p>
<p>“Come on, you can tell me,” she said, sitting down and grasping his hands in hers and pulling them away from his face. He begrudgingly looked up at her. “Then you won’t have to spend so much time sneaking around and pretending you’re not disheveled when I arrive.”</p>
<p>Picard considered her for a moment and then, reluctantly, decided she had a point. And it really didn’t seem like she was going to drop it this time. “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. And don’t <em>tell</em> anyone, alright?”</p>
<p>“I promise.” Her eyes sparkled. “It’s someone I know, then?”</p>
<p>Picard looked away. Pretended to be quite interested in the rug at his feet. When he finally got the words out, they came out of him in a mumble, “…It’s Q.”</p>
<p>The silence was deafening. Picard risked a glance up at her, only to find her just staring blankly at him. “…What?”</p>
<p>“It’s <em>Q</em>,” Picard said louder.</p>
<p>“<em>Q</em>?!” Beverly just about shouted, her mouth falling open. “Q is an insufferable, despicable, self-involved, self-righteous, manipulative, annoying <em>jerk</em>.”</p>
<p>Picard nodded. “I know, and I agree whole-heartedly.”</p>
<p>“Then <em>why</em> are you sleeping with him?!”</p>
<p>Picard sighed. “I don’t know, really. He suggested it, and it must have been on the back of my mind as well, because I, well…I <em>wanted</em> to.” He shook his head. “I feel insane.”</p>
<p>“Should I scan you for brain injury?” she asked, dead-serious.</p>
<p>He cracked a smile. “No, thank you.”</p>
<p>She considered him for another moment. “Jean-Luc, have you considered talking to Deanna about this? Sometimes, when people are lonely, they tend to—”</p>
<p>“Believe it or not, I already talked to the Counselor.” He raised his eyebrows. “And she essentially gave me the go-ahead.”</p>
<p>Beverly’s mouth fell open again, and Picard winced. He knew that Beverly would immediately interrogate Troi about this, and he felt bad for putting her in that position.</p>
<p>“Listen, Beverly,” he said quickly before she could launch into some kind of tirade. Her hands were still in his so he squeezed them tightly. “I appreciate your concern, I do. But this isn’t anything you have to worry about. It isn’t something that involved – he shows up every once in a while, we fool around for a bit, and then he leaves again. It’s just…it’s just something easy.”</p>
<p>“Things are <em>never</em> easy with Q,” Beverly said strongly, but then sank back a little. “But you do seem more…relaxed than I’ve seen you in a while. You’re sure he’s not manipulating you?”</p>
<p>“I’m sure,” Picard said, and was slightly surprised to realize he meant it. He knew Q well enough to recognize his typical pranks, and he was still under the impression that this wasn’t one of them.</p>
<p>She thought for a moment and then took a deep breath. “Alright. I still feel like I should scan you for brain damage, but… If this is what you want, it’s not my place to say anything about it.”</p>
<p>Picard smiled at her. “Thank you, Beverly.”</p>
<p>“…Q, huh,” she murmured, sitting back and finally grabbing her croissant from the table. She took a huge bite out of it and chewed thoughtfully before saying, “How does that work, exactly?”</p>
<p>Picard deflated slightly. “Beverly—”</p>
<p>“Oh come on, Jean-Luc,” she said, a mischievous grin on her face. “It’s for Starfleet research.”</p>
<p>And then she forced him to stay there until he had told her everything that she wanted to know. Picard left the interrogation absolutely mortified, and realized that he had majorly miscalculated when he started this thing with Q:</p>
<p>It wasn’t Q he had to worry about – it was his friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t unusual for Guinan to come into Picard’s ready room unprompted. She had an uncanny sense of when he was upset or troubled and needed advice, but she would also come in just to chat. He cared for her deeply, and she was always welcome in his ready room, prompted or not. So it wasn’t a surprise to see her stomping in a couple of days later, but it <em>was</em> a surprise that she seemed so…<em>angry</em>. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her angry.</p>
<p>She didn’t even give Picard a chance to say anything before hissing, “<em>Q?</em> <em>Really?</em>”</p>
<p>Picard turned from the window and grimaced. So much for Beverly not telling anyone. “Please spare me, Guinan.”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t think I can.” She sat down in his chair and stared intensely at him. “This is the same Q that put you on trial for the crimes of humanity. The same Q that shot you out into the middle of space and nearly got you killed by the Borg!”</p>
<p>“I know.” He knew uncomfortably well. “He wouldn’t have gotten us killed. I know that now.”</p>
<p>She scoffed. “So, what, you’re with him because he doesn’t get you <em>killed</em>?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m with him because I wasn’t totally appalled at the idea.” He held up a hand as she started to protest and walked over to the replicator to get some tea. It was easier to say this when he didn’t have to look at anybody. “I’m tired of being alone, Guinan. It’s not easy for a Starfleet captain to find and maintain a relationship. But Q can come and go whenever he pleases, wherever we are. I don’t need to devote my entire time to it – I don’t need to give up my career for it. It’s…it’s just <em>easy</em>.”</p>
<p>She stared at him. “…Don’t tell me you get off by being irritated with him.”</p>
<p>He spluttered a bit drinking his tea, but held her gaze.</p>
<p>“Oh, I should’ve known,” she groaned. “He’s exactly your type.”</p>
<p>“Look, this thing I’m doing with him doesn’t excuse his behavior, for what he’s done or what he will do. But while he’s here, I will make sure he’s on his best behavior. You won’t even have to <em>see</em> him if you don’t want to.” He sat down in his guest chair and raised his eyebrows at her. “Is that satisfactory, Captain?”</p>
<p>She pretended to consider this for a moment, but eventually smiled. “I’ll accept those terms.”</p>
<p>“…You’re not going to ask for details, are you?” he asked warily. The conversation with Beverly was still fresh in his mind.</p>
<p>But to his relief, she looked vaguely horrified. “God, no – I want absolutely no details at all. Unless you need to talk, in which case you know I’m always available.”</p>
<p>He reached across the table and put his hand over hers. “Thank you, Guinan. Really.”</p>
<p>“I trust you, Jean-Luc,” she said, turning her hand over to squeeze his. “You’re one of the few people I do trust. And if you say this is working for you, then I believe you.”</p>
<p>“You’ll be one of the first to know if that changes,” he said, sitting back. “Who knows how long this will last, anyway – I have a feeling we’ll be at each other’s throats before long.”</p>
<p>She hummed. “You are both stubborn. It could go either way, really.”</p>
<p>“I still feel kind of crazy,” he said, leaning his head back against the back of his chair.</p>
<p>“Some say that’s how you’re supposed to feel,” Guinan said, smiling again as she stood. As she walked past him, she put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think you need me to tell you that you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. It’s okay to just act on impulse sometimes.”</p>
<p>He chuckled and turned in the chair to face her. “When have you ever acted on impulse?”</p>
<p>“Many times.” Her eyes sparkled with mirth. “The day I met you, for example.”</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” he agreed, tilting his head, and with another smirk she left the ready room.</p>
<p>Picard sighed, watching the door close after her, and felt significantly more settled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Riker walked onto his shift that morning, still in the process of waking up. He had never been a morning person, and apparently years of Starfleet service didn’t do anything to change that. He walked by two ensigns sitting at ops and coms, Data off shift for the moment, whispering and giggling to each other. When he heard what they were whispering about, he just about tripped over himself.</p>
<p>“You remember that annoying alien that sometimes comes on board and messes with the ship? What was his name… It was just a letter, or something.”</p>
<p>“…Q! It was Q, wasn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, Q! Well I heard that he and the Captain have been <em>fucking</em>—”</p>
<p>“And I’m assuming the Captain gave you permission to spread this rumor around?” Riker interrupted, leaning on the backs of their chairs.</p>
<p>They both froze, and slowly turned to face him with eyes full of terror. While Riker preferred to be the type of leader that people respected, but weren’t afraid of, he had to admit that sometimes it was a lot of fun making them squirm. He would be enjoying this a lot more, though, if they weren’t spreading horrifying rumors about Picard.</p>
<p>“N-no sir!” one of them finally squeaked.</p>
<p>Riker looked back and forth between the two of them, making them squirm a bit more, and then nodded. “Right then. I don’t want to hear any more of this rumor, understand?”</p>
<p>“Yes sir!”</p>
<p>“Good.” He turned around to find Deanna staring at him with amusement. She was obviously curious, and Riker did his best through posturing to convey <em>I’ll tell you later</em>. She seemed to understand, as she always did, and just grinned at him.</p>
<p>Picard was luckily not on the Bridge, though it was unclear if it was because he hadn’t made his way up yet or because he was in his ready room. Riker decided to try his ready room, just to get this out of the way. He’d rather not have to stew on it for the rest of the day.</p>
<p>“Come,” Picard said when Riker rang the chime, to his relief, and he stepped through the doors.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Number One,” Picard said, looking up at him from over his cup of tea. A PADD sat in front of him, schematics of something incredibly complicated displayed briefly before he shut it off. “What can I do for you?”</p>
<p>Better to just rip the band-aid off. “I’m sorry to taint your morning with this Captain, but I just thought you should know about a rather…disturbing rumor going around.”</p>
<p>Picard set down his tea and looked up at him expectantly. “Oh? What kind of rumor?”</p>
<p>“Well, sir…” Riker shuffled uncomfortably. “I heard two ensigns discussing the possibility that you and Q are…sexually involved.”</p>
<p>Picard was silent for a long moment. Riker was about to say something like “I know, right?” when Picard spoke.</p>
<p>“It’s not a rumor, Number One.”</p>
<p>It was Riker’s turn to be silent. He opened his mouth several times, but everything he wanted to say didn’t seem appropriate. He was sure his Captain wouldn’t appreciate questions like “what the hell are you talking about?” or “have you had a brain scan lately?”. It didn’t help that Picard was staring right at him, waiting for his reaction. Riker felt suddenly like he was failing some kind of test.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I didn’t… Well, I thought—”</p>
<p>Picard held up his hand, grimacing. “We don’t need to discuss it. I’ve had several uncomfortable conversations about it already.”</p>
<p>He stood, straightened his shirt, and went to stand by the window. His hands were clasped behind his back, very tightly Riker noticed. “I was hoping this information wouldn’t be spread about so carelessly, but I suppose I should’ve known better.”</p>
<p>“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I scared those ensigns pretty badly, so they won’t be talking about it again anytime soon.”</p>
<p>Picard chuckled. “Thank you, Number One.”</p>
<p>Riker felt like he was at the end of a very extensive, very bad, joke. “So…you and Q are…”</p>
<p>“In a sexual relationship? Yes. Do I need a brain scan? No. Am I going to give you any details about it? Absolutely not.”</p>
<p>He obviously hadn’t been kidding about going through this discussion before. In a way, Riker was relieved. Despite always being delighted about his friends entering relationships—<em>especially</em> his Captain—he had never really felt comfortable enough to fully broach the subject with Picard before, and was glad he didn’t need to. Especially since it was about <em>Q</em>.</p>
<p>“…Alright.” Riker straightened, filed the information away to freak out about later, and nodded at Picard. “See you on the Bridge, then?”</p>
<p>If he could read Picard, and he thought he pretty damn well could, his Captain looked relieved. “Yes, shortly.”</p>
<p>He left the ready room and for a moment just stood near the entrance, stunned. Maybe he was still asleep. That was a logical explanation for the conversation he’d just had, right? He saw Deanna making faces at him, no doubt picking up on his emotions, but he just shook his head. He didn’t think he could talk about this right now even if they were alone.</p>
<p>But there was still one thing he had to do.</p>
<p>Walking up to tactical, Riker grabbed Worf’s arm and drew him aside. He glanced sideways, making sure Picard hadn’t left the ready room yet, and then back at Worf. “I need you to do something for me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The Captain will <em>kill</em> us if he finds out we’re doing this,” Geordi hissed.</p>
<p>“This is for his own security,” Worf hissed back. “…But do you really need to stand on my back?”</p>
<p>“Give me something else to stand on, and I’ll stand on it.”</p>
<p>Worf grumbled, but just lifted Geordi higher. “Do you see anything?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah I do.” Geordi crouched a bit to see better through the slit. It had been disturbingly easy to remove one of the panels above the computer outside the holodeck, just enough to be able to glance through to the inside.</p>
<p>Some kind of nature program was in progress. It was mostly grassland, cropped patches stretching as far as Geordi could see, but there were also clumps of densely clustered oak trees dotted across the landscape. The only evidence of civilization was a wooden hitching rail sitting in the middle of a grassy patch. Since the horses were gone, it was easy to guess where the Captain was.</p>
<p>“Do you see the Captain?” Worf asked impatiently.</p>
<p>“No, the horses aren’t hitched up, so I’m assuming he and Q went for a ride, if Q’s even here.”</p>
<p>Worf grumbled under his breath. “For his sake, he better <em>not</em> be.”</p>
<p>Geordi didn’t reply. He didn’t particularly like Q either, but he had to admit he was here more out of curiosity than anything else. It wasn’t often that the Captain dated anyone, after all, let alone an omnipotent, selfish alien that most people who met him actively disliked. He had thought Picard hated him too, so he was especially intrigued by the prospect that the two were dating.</p>
<p>He wanted to see it for himself.</p>
<p>Sudden movement caught his eye, and he peered back through the slit. The Captain and Q were just coming back into view along a dirt path through the trees, both on horses. “Oh, here they are now!”</p>
<p>Looking at Q was always a bit painful for Geordi. The energies he gave off reflected back through the visor like beams of pure light. Because of this, Geordi often had to look just past him to really see him at all. It was hard even for him to tell what form Q was taking sometimes, as the bright light made the lines around him fuzzy. He <em>supposed</em> he was human shaped, but he really wouldn’t have been able to tell that without the implications from the others.</p>
<p>It was a bit easier now because he was far away, and he could focus on the horse instead when he needed to. He watched them ride closer, their horses running close enough together that they were almost touching. They stopped at the hitching rail and both hopped off to tie the reigns around the wood. Q said something, and the Captain <em>laughed</em>.</p>
<p>Geordi glanced away when they leaned in to kiss each other.</p>
<p>“What are they doing?” Worf hissed.</p>
<p>“They’re, uh, they’re smooching.”</p>
<p>Worf muttered something under his breath in Klingon that didn’t sound like a congratulations. “How dare that dishonorable <em>swine</em> touch the Captain like—”</p>
<p>Geordi risked looking back through the slit and jolted in surprise. “Woah, hey, he’s alone now!”</p>
<p>“What do you mean he’s alone?” Worf demanded. “I thought—”</p>
<p>“What are we looking for?” another voice asked.</p>
<p>“We’re—” Geordi started, and then glanced up. Q was hovering above him, a wicked grin on his face.</p>
<p>Geordi would like to say that he gracefully stood up, but it was more that he stumbled off of Worf and fell hard on his back. When he scrambled back to his feet, Worf was standing in front of him, a phaser pointed at Q.</p>
<p>“That is completely unnecessary,” Q said, still smirking as he lowered himself to the ground. “I mean, you were the ones spying – really, <em>I</em> should be the one pointing that at you!”</p>
<p>A light flashed, and now Q was holding the phaser. Worf growled. “We were <em>not</em> spying!”</p>
<p>“Honestly <em>I</em> don’t mind, but I think Jean-Luc may think differently.” Q raised his eyebrows purposefully and vanished.</p>
<p>The doors to the holodeck started to open, and without even discussing it, Geordi and Worf booked it out of there. They ran until they were safely on a turbolift, and held their breaths until they got off at the next floor without any contact from their Captain.</p>
<p>“Oh man, that was a <em>close</em> one,” Geordi sighed as he started to walk back to Engineering.</p>
<p>Worf followed after him. “Yes. We will have to be more careful next time.”</p>
<p>“<em>Next </em>time?” Geordi said, stopping in the middle of the hall. “No, no way – I’m not going through that again.”</p>
<p>“But Commander Riker wanted me to—”</p>
<p>“Look, if <em>you</em> want to peep on the Captain and Q, that’s your business, but I’ve seen enough.” Geordi held his hands out. “And honestly? I don’t think the Captain’s in any danger. He looked just fine.”</p>
<p>“We do not know Q’s intentions,” Worf pointed out forcefully.</p>
<p>Geordi let out an exasperated laugh. “And <em>how</em> do you suggest we figure that out? No one can understand Q’s intentions better than the Captain. And it’s not like we can just <em>ask</em> him.”</p>
<p>Just then, Data turned the corner, walking briskly.</p>
<p>“…But I may know someone who can,” Geordi mumbled and reached out to grab Data’s arm and pull him to a stop. “Data, Data, I have a question for you.”</p>
<p>Data tilted his head curiously. “Yes, Geordi?”</p>
<p>“Q <em>trusts</em> you, doesn’t he?”</p>
<p>Data frowned. “I am not sure the word ‘trust’ has ever been used to describe Q in that manner before—”</p>
<p>Geordi laughed. “Alright, alright, I know, but… He still feels like he…<em>owes</em> you? Doesn’t he? From when you saved his life?”</p>
<p>“That is plausible. Q has shown that he does repay life debts.” Data sent him what could only be called a suspicious look. “Why do you ask?”</p>
<p>Geordi looked to Worf for assistance, but the Klingon was stony-faced with his arms crossed across his chest, apparently still upset about what he had just witnessed, so no help there. Geordi turned back to Data and tried to figure out how to even <em>begin</em> to explain this to him. “Well…you heard about the Captain and Q, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Data frowned again. “For some reason, Lieutenant D’Sora seemed quite eager to gossip to me about it.”</p>
<p>“Well, even you must see that the pairing of the Captain and Q is pretty unusual, right? So Commander Riker wanted Worf here to find out what exactly Q is up to.”</p>
<p>Data still looked confused. “I fail to see how Q potentially owing me a favor connects to this.”</p>
<p>Geordi put a hand on Data’s shoulder. “Just…get him to sit down with you, chat with him a little. Try and figure out what his intentions are with the Captain.”</p>
<p>Data gave him a look. “Geordi, I do not believe Captain Picard would approve of this behavior. Nor do I believe we have the right to…<em>question</em> his choice in partners.”</p>
<p>“Maybe not,” Geordi agreed. “But we just want to be sure – this could involve the safety of the crew, after all.”</p>
<p>“…I had not thought of that,” Data said, and then nodded. “Very well, I will try. However, as I am quite inexperienced with human romantic relationships, I cannot promise the data I will collect will be very helpful.</p>
<p>“Anything will be helpful, Data,” Geordi said and clapped him on the shoulder.</p>
<p>
  <em>As long as it isn’t me.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>--</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I must admit that I did not expect you to come here,” Data said, looking up.</p>
<p>“Hm? And why’s that?” Q mumbled back, poking his spoon into his chocolate sundae. He had never gotten the chance to try it before, when he was human, and apparently this was the purpose for which he had come to Ten Forward and sat himself across from Data.</p>
<p>It had thus been surprisingly easy to get Q to “sit down, chat with him a little,” as Geordi had put it. In fact, Data had had to do nothing at all; Q had just come on his own.</p>
<p>It was truly baffling. As far as he could tell, there was no reason for Q to visit him of all people, especially since he was not receiving the warmest of welcomes. People were staring at him, including a suspicious glare from Guinan, which only added to Data’s point.</p>
<p>“Not many people like you on this ship. And Commander Riker explained to me that Captain Picard does not particularly like displaying any sort of relationship status publicly.” Data tilted his head. “Based on that, I concluded that you would make your presence <em>less</em> known.”</p>
<p> “Where’s the fun in that?” Q grinned. “No, no, you see, your precious Captain may dislike it, but I think it’s <em>wonderful. </em>Did you know I caught Geordi and that Klingon dog spying on us, just earlier today? I <em>knew</em> you all could be interesting – we could’ve had so much fun together, even more than we did before!”</p>
<p>“The crew has showed an unusual interest in your relationship with Captain Picard,” Data admitted, furrowing his brow. “I find it quite puzzling.”</p>
<p>“I assume they do it for the same reason I mess with others – to have fun. To enjoy in someone else’s discomfort.” Data frowned as Q scooped up his sundae. Somehow, Q’s explanation didn’t seem right. “The tendency to…<em>meddle</em> is the only trait in humans I’ve found at all desirable.”</p>
<p>Data tilted his head to the side. “And yet you find Captain Picard desirable.”</p>
<p>The spoon somehow flew out of Q’s hands. “What?! That’s a little <em>much</em>, I’d say—”</p>
<p>“Then why are you engaged in a relationship with him?” Data asked. “I have observed that humans usually have sex with each other because they find each other—”</p>
<p>“Listen, android,” Q growled, but then fell completely silent. He stared off to the side for a moment, apparently in thought. “Desire…is that what this feeling is called?”</p>
<p>Data shook his head. “I would not know. As you are well aware, I cannot feel emotions. But as I understand it, humans generally know how they feel before they engage in any type of relationship. Was that not true for you?”</p>
<p>But it didn’t really seem like Q was listening anymore. “…I believe I’ve rather made a mess of things.”</p>
<p>This surprised Data. It wasn’t like Q to admit to guilt of any kind.</p>
<p>“You’ve given me a lot to think about, android,” Q mumbled and abruptly shoved the whole sundae down his throat, bowl included. He immediately scrunched up his face. “Ugh, this tastes terrible. How do humans eat this stuff?”</p>
<p>“I would not know,” Data said again, but Q was already gone.</p>
<p>Tilting his head to the side, Data replayed the conversation they had just had. He wondered if any of it would be beneficial to Geordi. He himself was, as always it seemed, just confused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think it’s about time we talked,” Deanna said after Picard had let her into his ready room.</p>
<p>Picard heaved a huge sigh. “Counselor, I’ve had enough ‘talks’ about this to last a lifetime.”</p>
<p>“But those weren’t with a counselor,” Deanna said with a small smile as she sat across from him. “And this time you’ll primarily do the talking.”</p>
<p>Picard gave her a look that practically screamed <em>Must I? </em>She decided it would be best to just get straight to the point. “For example, does it bother you that nearly your entire senior crew despises your partner?”</p>
<p>Picard hummed. “I don’t know if I would call it that – this is nothing so permanent. We’re like the overlapping section of a Venn diagram – I can never fully be part of Q’s life and he can never fully be part of mine. We’re just together when we can, and we both understand that.”</p>
<p>“…That doesn’t answer my question, Captain,” Deanna pressed.</p>
<p>Picard sighed heavily. “Well what am I supposed to say, Counselor? Even if it did bother me a little, it’s not as if I can’t disagree with them. Everything they bring up with me is exactly what I think, too.”</p>
<p>“But…”</p>
<p>“But it’s my business who I sleep with, regardless of their feelings about him,” he gritted out, turning to stare firmly out the window. “And I dislike that they may think less of me because of it.”</p>
<p>“…Why did you tell Beverly, then?”</p>
<p>“Because I trusted her not to spread it around the whole damn ship.” Picard scoffed. “Last time I make that mistake.”</p>
<p>“…For what it’s worth Captain, I don’t think any of them think less of you because of this,” Deanna said after a moment. “It’s just…something surprising to them. Unexpected.”</p>
<p>“Well, they’re not the only ones,” Picard huffed, staring down at his hands.</p>
<p>“…How is it going, if I may ask?”</p>
<p>He didn’t answer for a moment, and then when he did, his voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. “Would you diagnose me as insane if I said I’m the happiest I’ve been in a while?”</p>
<p>She smiled. “No, Captain. In fact, I would celebrate. And the others will too, once they realize it’s not another one of Q’s games.”</p>
<p>Picard stood and walked to the window. He clasped his hands tightly together behind his back as he stared out at the stars. “It’s just…so <em>easy</em> Counselor. I don’t have to worry about what I say, or do. I don’t have to worry about how my career will affect it. It’s just…what it is. I never thought I’d say I don’t have to worry about Q, but I don’t, when it’s just us.”</p>
<p>“Then I’m happy for you.” She stood and followed him to the window. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “They’ll come around. Just give them some time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So,” Riker said, glancing around at Worf, Geordi, Beverly, and Data. “What information do we have?”</p>
<p>“Jean-Luc finally relented to coming in for a brain scan,” Beverly said, crossing her leg. “Everything checks out as normal there. We at least know Q isn’t controlling him.”</p>
<p>“Were you able to find anything out from Q, Data?” Worf asked.</p>
<p>“I do not believe he has malicious intent,” Data said. “In fact, he seemed…unaware of the purpose of his relationship with Captain Picard. When I pointed out that he found the Captain desirable—” Everyone shifted uncomfortably at this, “—he seemed quite perplexed. He said he had made a mess of things, and then left.”</p>
<p>“Q wasn’t entering this expecting to catch any feelings, perhaps,” Beverly said, raising her eyebrows. “I find it hard to believe he could feel anything like that, too.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t see them on the holodeck,” Geordi said. “Captain Picard looked…happy. They <em>both</em> looked happy.”</p>
<p>Everyone was quiet for a moment, lost in thought.</p>
<p>The door chimed suddenly.</p>
<p>“Come in,” Riker said. To his surprise, Deanna stepped into the room with Guinan right behind her.</p>
<p>“I could sense the suspicious nature of this meeting all the way on the turbolift,” Deanna said once the door was shut behind them.</p>
<p>They all glanced around at each other guiltily. When no one said anything, Deanna sighed and said, “Is this about the Captain?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Worf said, crossing his arms. “We are convening to discuss his security.”</p>
<p>“Really.” Deanna raised her eyebrows. “And what have you discovered?”</p>
<p>Worf shifted uncomfortably. “He…does not appear to be in any danger.”</p>
<p>Deanna scoffed. “Well <em>I</em> could’ve told you that!”</p>
<p>“Deanna, Q has messed with us more times than I can count,” Riker said seriously. “We had to make sure this wasn’t another one of his games.”</p>
<p>“And so when the Captain told you it wasn’t, you decided to double check?” Guinan interjected quietly. She had an extraordinary ability to make someone feel guilty without saying anything specific.</p>
<p>“Q has manipulated us many times in the past!” Worf shouted. “There is nothing wrong with making sure he wasn’t doing that to the Captain!”</p>
<p>Guinan smiled tightly. “He’s never forced anyone to have sex with him.”</p>
<p>Riker winced. Everyone else looked down at their laps, an uncomfortable silence lapsing over them.</p>
<p>“We may not<em> like </em>Q, but I trust the Captain,” Guinan continued. “And I trust he knows what’s best for him, what works for him. As he’s said many times before, it’s not easy finding a relationship as a Starfleet captain. Maybe someone like Q is a perfect fit for him.”</p>
<p>“…I’m surprised to hear you say that, Guinan,” Riker said honestly. He knew how much she hated Q.</p>
<p>She shrugged. “Like I said, I trust the Captain.”</p>
<p>“…I do, too,” Riker said, and he meant it. He may have had his doubts about this originally—especially since he knew firsthand how manipulative Q could be—but he trusted Picard. And Picard had not been showing any signs of irrationality or abnormal behavior. As incredible as it was, it appeared he was having a healthy, functional relationship with Q. And if that was the case, then Riker had no right to speak up against it.</p>
<p>“It’s true Jean-Luc seems happy,” Beverly said, shaking her head. “That’s all I want for him.”</p>
<p>“Same here,” Geordi added.</p>
<p>Worf harshly exhaled and crossed his arms. “As long as I don’t have to listen to Q blathering on.”</p>
<p>Deanna smirked and placed her hand on Worf’s arm. “I think the Captain has already demonstrated his desire to keep this affair private.”</p>
<p>Riker looked at Data, the only one who hadn’t said anything. His brow was deeply furrowed, and he looked confused. “Is something the matter, Mr. Data?”</p>
<p>“It is just…you all show a fascinating amount of interest in Captain Picard’s love life,” he said, looking up at Riker. “Is this normal human behavior?”</p>
<p>Riker couldn’t help but grin. “I’d say it is, but <em>especially</em> when it’s the Captain.”</p>
<p>Data seemed even more puzzled. “Why?”</p>
<p>“Well, when a guy is so private about his personal life…” Geordi chuckled a little. “I don’t know, it makes us curious, I guess.”</p>
<p>“It’s not commendable behavior, Data,” Deanna said. “Frankly, it’s none of our business.”</p>
<p>“And yet you all put so much effort into <em>making</em> it your business,” Data continued.</p>
<p>“It’s because we were worried about him,” Guinan said. “We wanted to make sure he was alright, that he wasn’t getting forced into something he didn’t want.”</p>
<p>Data thought about this for a moment. “So all of this was done because…you care about the Captain?”</p>
<p>Riker nodded. “Precisely.”</p>
<p>“…Huh. Intriguing.”</p>
<p>The door chimed again, and the room fell deadly silent.</p>
<p>“…Come in,” Riker called, and tried not to phrase it like a question.</p>
<p>Picard walked through the doors, hands behind his back and both of his eyebrows raised. For a moment, Riker could only stare at him in disbelief. There was no way he had caught on to what they were doing… Unless Q told him?</p>
<p>Riker swallowed. “How can I help you, sir?”</p>
<p>“Well, Number One, when I asked the computer where all of my senior officers were and discovered they were all in your quarters, I thought you must be playing poker.” He glanced around the room in an exaggerated matter. “But that does not seem to be the case.”</p>
<p>Everyone looked at Riker. He looked back at each of them, slightly annoyed they were making him the scapegoat, but he supposed he had arranged this whole thing. He looked back to Picard’s expectant face and decided to just be honest. Riker didn’t want this to be something awkward between them for however long it lasted, and he didn’t want Picard to believe that he thought less of him because of it.</p>
<p>In fact, he was impressed, really. Not everyone could have a successful relationship with a Q.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat. “We just wanted to say…we’re happy for you.”</p>
<p>Picard’s face melted into a completely neutral expression. “…Oh?”</p>
<p>“You seem…happy. And that’s all that matters to us.”</p>
<p>Picard didn’t say anything for a moment. He just stood there, hands still clasped tightly behind his back. “So, you were all convening to discuss my love life I see. This doesn’t happen to have anything to do with the missing panel on Holodeck 2, does it?”</p>
<p>Geordi cleared his throat awkwardly. “A missing panel? First I’ve heard of it, Captain, I’ll get on it right away.”</p>
<p>“Of course, Commander La Forge.” Picard looked at each of them before letting out a harsh breath. “I…thank you for your support. But keep out of my business next time, understood?”</p>
<p>He then left again, without giving anyone a chance to respond.</p>
<p>“…I thought I was going to die,” Geordi whispered, and that was all it took for everyone (except for Data and Worf of course) to burst out laughing.</p>
<p>“I guess we were being rather…<em>nosy</em>,” Riker wheezed.</p>
<p>“You’re lucky we have such an understanding Captain,” Deanna said, grinning.</p>
<p>“I’m grateful for that every day.” Riker grinned back and then stood. “Alright, that’s enough sneaking around. Poker, anyone?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To Picard’s immense relief, things on board the <em>Enterprise</em> returned to normal after that.</p>
<p><em>Captain’s log, Stardate 2371.2. We are on route to the Kressari System, a secluded sector of the Alpha Quadrant that has yet to be charted. What with all of the skirmishes with Romulans, medical emergencies, and planetary disputes, it has been a long time since the </em>Enterprise<em> could partake on its primary mission: to seek out new life and civilizations. The </em>Enterprise<em> has been scheduled to spend two weeks exploring this sector, and I must admit I am looking forward to seeing what is out there.</em></p>
<p>“We reached the outskirts of the Kressari System at 0100 hours this morning, but I had the ship wait just outside the border as you requested,” Data said as Picard stepped onto the Bridge that morning. </p>
<p>“Very good.” Picard nodded at the other coms station. “Ensign, take us in.”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir.”</p>
<p>Picard sat in his chair as Riker pulled up a mostly empty map of the sector on the computer attached to his chair. The map would automatically update as the sensors picked up information, but for now it was simply a way to keep track of where the boundary of known space was, so they would not get lost. Picard peered over his shoulder, and then looked out at the viewscreen. There was nothing yet, but that was not surprising – space was, as the name suggested, comprised of mostly empty space.</p>
<p>“Ship’s sensors are picking up an unknown object several kilometers in front of us,” Worf said after they had spent an hour charting the perimeter of the sector. “It does not appear to be…solid.”</p>
<p>“Put it on the viewscreen,” Picard said. A few seconds later, a cloud of what looked like gaseous material appeared on the screen. It was difficult to tell what color it was – at first glance Picard had thought it was blue, but now it appeared to be yellow, and in the next instant it was purple. It was like it only remained one color long enough for Picard’s senses to register it, but by the time the information made it to his brain it had changed colors again. It was beautiful, but difficult to look at. “Analysis, Mr. Data.”</p>
<p>“Unknown,” Data said, frowning at his panel. “Its components are like nothing we have ever seen before.”</p>
<p>“Captain, I suggest we go to yellow alert,” Riker murmured. “We don’t know if that thing’s dangerous or not.”</p>
<p>Picard nodded. “Make it so.”</p>
<p>“There appears to be something solid within the gas,” Data said after a moment.</p>
<p>“Make that a <em>lot</em> of somethings, Captain,” Geordi said from the engineering station. “It’s like a bunch of little…<em>atoms</em> bouncing around in there.”</p>
<p>“Are they sentient?” Picard asked, staring at the cloud in wonder.</p>
<p>“There is insufficient information to be certain,” Data said. “However, we may be able to test that theory by seeing if it changes course as we do.”</p>
<p>Picard nodded. “Very well. Ensign, move us away from the cloud, but keep the viewscreen on it.”</p>
<p>“Aye, Captain.”</p>
<p>They moved to go around the cloud, but before they could get very far the cloud moved purposefully to intercept them.</p>
<p>“It’s looking more and more like a lifeform,” Riker said.</p>
<p>“Or a tracking device,” Worf interjected.</p>
<p>“The object is picking up speed,” Data said. “It is on an intercept course, impact in 45 seconds.”</p>
<p>“Raise shields,” Riker barked. “Red—”</p>
<p>“We’ll hold off on red alert for now, Number One,” Picard interrupted. “We still don’t know if this object is hostile.”</p>
<p>The cloud met the ship and seemed to hang around it for a moment. It then passed easily through the shields without even breaking them and floated onto the Bridge. Riker and Worf shot up from their stations to stand in front of Picard, but Picard remained seated. Even though something had penetrated the ship, it still had not given any indication of harm.</p>
<p>As the cloud approached Picard, he squinted at it, trying to study details. He could see the solid parts that Geordi had mentioned floating around among the gas, but it was impossible for his eyes to get a good grasp on what they were exactly, just as it had been impossible to determine the color of the gas. The organism—or whatever it was—seemed to work at extraordinary speeds.</p>
<p>The cloud stopped in front of Picard, and Picard straightened. “I am Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the Federation starship <em>Enterprise</em>. We mean you no harm.”</p>
<p><em>I? What is I? </em>a voice said, but Picard couldn’t be certain if it had truly spoken with a voice, or if the words simply appeared in his head. It was hard to tell even if it had been one voice or many.</p>
<p>“Captain!” Riker shouted, shooting forward, and it was only then that Picard noticed that the cloud was moving to engulf him.</p>
<p>He did not flinch at first, as the voice/voices had sounded curious not hostile, but then the masses he had seen earlier touched his skin and it felt like thousands of Earth wasp stings concentrated into a single point. He gasped, which was a mistake, because then the creatures were <em>inside</em> him, tearing him apart. The pain was so unbearable, so unlike anything he had ever felt before that he was almost violently thrown into unconsciousness.</p>
<p>He awoke gasping, and the space was so white around him that at first he thought he was still in the cloud.</p>
<p>But no, he knew this space, and he knew the other presence before he even stepped into view.</p>
<p>“The Denchites are such an angry race, aren’t they?” Q said.</p>
<p>“…I don’t believe they intended to harm me,” Picard said when he had caught his breath, sitting up and wincing. His body felt like it was covered in thousands of stinging wounds. “They had no way of knowing that their bodies would hurt me.”</p>
<p>Q shrugged. “If that’s what you want to believe.”</p>
<p>Picard glared at him. “What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were off in the Gamma Quadrant causing havoc.”</p>
<p>“I was, but it was boring, so I came back.”</p>
<p>It took Picard a minute to realize what was so off about this interaction, but then he noticed that Q wasn’t looking at him. He wasn’t even standing anywhere near him, which should have tipped him off immediately that something was wrong. Q had absolutely no concept of personal space, and one of his favorite past times was staring at Picard for so long that it made him uncomfortable.</p>
<p>Right now, he was doing neither.</p>
<p>“Q,” Picard said sternly. “Would I have died from that?”</p>
<p>“Who knows? No one will now, certainly.”</p>
<p>“Q, we have been over this before, <em>many</em> times!” Picard growled. “What do I have to do to get it into your head that I don’t want to live forever?”</p>
<p>“Well why the hell not?” Q snapped, finally looking at him. He looked—upset, Picard realized with a jolt of surprise. “Doesn’t this thing we have <em>mean </em>anything to you? We could have eternity together. I could show you <em>everything</em>.”</p>
<p>“I don’t <em>want</em> you to show me everything. I want to get there on my own. And if I can’t do that, then I don’t deserve to see it.”</p>
<p>“You are unbelievable.” Q glared at him. “You do realize that <em>I</em> live forever, don’t you? What do you expect me to do once you’ve lived out your pathetic little human life?”</p>
<p>Picard gaped at him, utterly flabbergasted. “I don’t know, what you’ve always done! Cause mischief, annoy the hell out of people. I haven’t even <em>existed</em> for centuries that you’ve been alive—you got by just fine then!”</p>
<p>Q just stared at him. “…You really don’t know anything about me, do you?”</p>
<p>Picard scoffed. “Well how could I! Just about everything you’ve told me is a joke, or a lie, or said to annoy me.”</p>
<p>Q regarded him for a moment. Then he snapped his fingers, and suddenly Picard was standing on an ocean. No, he wasn’t <em>on</em> the ocean – there was something just above the water’s surface, a plant of some sort, that he was standing on. The plant was massive, large enough to be considered an island. It thrummed with life under his feet, and he could feel its pulse. It seemed to be the only plant-island in the area – everywhere else he looked was an endless stretch of ocean. The water lapped at the edges of the plant, but it was dry where he and Q were standing.</p>
<p>“…What is this?” he asked. It came out as a whisper, but was still too loud in the quiet.</p>
<p>“This is Havumi,” Q said, voice unusually somber. “This is my favorite place in the whole galaxy.”</p>
<p>This was surprising, to say the least. Picard could honestly say that he had never considered that someone like Q would even <em>have</em> a favorite place – Q always seemed like he found pleasure in messing with people rather than having any attachment to an actual place.</p>
<p>“It’s uninhabited in your time frame, but it will develop humanoid life eventually. It’s better like this.” Q sniffed. “Just like Earth was.”</p>
<p>Picard scoffed. “Is this some grand scheme to show me how insignificant I am again?”</p>
<p>“Quite the opposite,” Q said, not looking at him. “I’ve never shown anyone this place. Not even my fellow Q know how much this means to me. Only you.”</p>
<p><em>Why</em> was on the tip of Picard’s tongue, but by now he knew that at least.</p>
<p>“You’re important to me,” Q said, crouching to dip his hand into the water. “I don’t want to lose you over something stupid and preventable.”</p>
<p>Picard sighed and stared at the water, thinking. Then he started to unbutton his shirt. “It’s not toxic, is it?”</p>
<p>Q stared at him with wide eyes. “…No?”</p>
<p>“Good.” Picard shucked off his boots, stripped to just his underwear, and dived in.  </p>
<p>The water was surprisingly warm, and it felt like heaven against Picard’s aching body. He opened his eyes while he was still beneath the surface, and saw miles and miles of sparkling coral stretching out on the seabed. Earth’s corals had once looked like this, before humans had their way with them, and Picard could only hope that this world’s inhabitants would be more appreciative of what they had.</p>
<p>He surfaced, spewing out water that was sweet, rather than salty. Q was watching him from the island-plant, his eyes dark.</p>
<p>He smirked at him. “Coming?”</p>
<p>Q stepped into the water immediately, but it was obvious from his flailing that he had no idea how to swim like a humanoid. He shifted into what appeared to be a manta ray, but with several tails that looked like seaweed, and glided on over.</p>
<p>“Trylas,” Q explained when he had reached Picard and shifted back into a humanoid form. “Incredibly smart creatures, really. They hide themselves in the shadow of the shimaria, the large plants, and stick out their tails to make it appear as if they’re just part of the vegetation. When they feel their prey biting at their tails, they spin around and eat them.”</p>
<p>“…That may be the first time I’ve heard you say anything nice about a species from another world,” Picard said, raising his eyebrows. “You really do like this place.”</p>
<p>“Humans wouldn’t like it,” Q said, pulling a face. “The human body sinks. You could drown here, easily.”</p>
<p>“Humans can drown. We often do,” Picard agreed.</p>
<p>“Humans have many pointless deaths.” Q sighed and struggled to lay himself back on his back, as Picard was doing. “Your lives are so unbelievably fragile.”</p>
<p>“…I can’t guarantee that I won’t die over something stupid,” Picard said as they both floated there, staring up at the lilac sky. “I don’t have much of a track record going for me.”</p>
<p>Q scoffed. “I’d say not.”</p>
<p>“But that’s what it’s <em>like</em> to be mortal. Why can’t you understand that?”</p>
<p>“Because I <em>was</em> mortal, once,” Q said vehemently. “And it was the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had. I was constantly afraid that I would die at any moment. Why would you <em>willingly</em> live like that, when you have the choice?”</p>
<p>“Because that’s what makes life<em> fun</em>, worth living,” Picard insisted. “I never know when I’m going to die, so I have to make the most of my life while I can.”</p>
<p>“You know Jean-Luc,” Q said, “The more I get to know you, the less I understand you.”</p>
<p>Picard chuckled. “Good. It’ll make this relationship more interesting.”</p>
<p>Q raised his eyebrows. “…You’ve never called it that before.”</p>
<p>“That’s what it is, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but I didn’t think <em>you</em> knew that.”</p>
<p>“And yet you brought me here anyway,” Picard mumbled, frowning at him. “…You trust me.”</p>
<p>“…I suppose I’d have to, wouldn’t I?” Q frowned back. “That reminds me…  That android of yours, Data, made me realize something rather disturbing.”</p>
<p>“And what’s that?”</p>
<p>“I…<em>desire</em> you.”</p>
<p>This was so unexpected that Picard laughed. “What, you didn’t know that already?”</p>
<p>“No, I mean…” Q glanced at him and then away. “As unsettling as it is, I think I might love you.”</p>
<p>Picard opened his mouth, but no words came out. It was silent for a long time, the only sound that of the water pushing against their bodies.</p>
<p>Q raised an eyebrow. “This is usually where humans say something back, I believe.”</p>
<p>Picard really tried. “I, um…I wasn’t expecting that from you.”</p>
<p>Q huffed out a humorless laugh. “Neither did I.”</p>
<p>They were silent again for a moment. Now that Q had showed him what they looked like, Picard realized he could see trylas off in the distance, sometimes skimming the surface, sometimes breaching. It was breathtakingly beautiful here, peaceful. One could just <em>be</em>, here.</p>
<p>Maybe that was why Q liked it so much.</p>
<p>“Time works differently for me than it does for you,” Q said suddenly, seemingly out of the blue.</p>
<p>Picard glanced at him. “I know. What of it?”</p>
<p>“You asked me how I got along before. Before—well, it’s before in the way you would look at it—I always knew I would meet you. I remembered meeting you. I’ve met you and lost you hundreds of times already. I likely will again. There was one timeline where we were <em>friends</em>, good friends that didn’t argue all the time, but you died on a pointless away mission. There was another one, when I was human, that you sacrificed your life to save mine. I thought…I thought if I acted really obnoxiously this time, you would hate me, and it would be easier to lose you. But I messed up.”</p>
<p>Picard raised an eyebrow. “‘Messed up’?”</p>
<p>“…At first, I saved you over and over so I wouldn’t have to watch you die again.” Q scoffed. “Of course, you’re you, and you refused to accept what I was doing, so I made the offer that I did. I thought it would disgust you. I thought you would finally turn me away forever and I at least wouldn’t have to be there when you died. But then you actually <em>accepted</em> and I…I came to love this timeline, to love <em>you</em>. I can’t bear to let go of it. I’ve always cared for you, but never in any of the timelines were we…like this.”</p>
<p>Picard let out a long sigh. It was a lot to process. It didn’t really surprise him that Q had met him many times before, though he had hoped having previous experience would’ve made Q <em>better</em> at interacting with him, not <em>worse</em>. But it was a surprise to hear that his many deaths had troubled Q so much. That he had always…cared for him.</p>
<p>“…I’ve messed up too,” Picard murmured after he had thought for a moment.</p>
<p>“Surprised to hear you admit it.” Q grinned. “Go on.”</p>
<p>Picard reached out and took Q’s hand in his, squeezing it tightly. “I think I might love you too, you devil.”</p>
<p>Q smiled and leaned over to kiss him. His movement disrupted their buoyancy, and they both sunk underneath the water for a moment. Q grabbed for him wildly, a slight panic in his eyes – Picard wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, kissing him again. They kissed underwater for what felt like an eternity, until Picard’s lungs began screaming for air.</p>
<p>They surfaced, Picard pulling away to cough up the water in his lungs. Q flailed around again until he had the good sense to wrap his limbs around Picard’s body and stay anchored that way.</p>
<p>“I hate this body,” he grumbled, and then gave Picard an odd look. “Can I show you something?”</p>
<p>In any other situation, Picard would’ve been wary. But it was impossible to be suspicious in this ocean, this quiet world where Q was softer than Picard had ever seen him. “Go ahead.”</p>
<p>Picard’s eyes couldn’t process the transformation itself. But one moment he was looking at Q as he had always known him, and the next there was a beam of bright light in his place. It was much like the light that always accompanied Q’s powers, but it was less concentrated. Some bits were so intense Picard couldn’t even look at them, while other areas were practically see-through. It was hard to tell what general shape he was, or in fact if he had a shape at all.</p>
<p>“Is this your true form?” Picard asked, squinting at him. He could barely keep his eyes open, but he wanted to see. It wasn’t something Q offered often, after all.</p>
<p><em>Yes, too bright for you?</em> Q drifted closer – his presence as he passed over (and <em>through</em>) Picard’s body was incredibly warm. “Just close your eyes then – seeing me isn’t the important part.”</p>
<p>Picard wanted to argue, and claim that in fact it <em>was</em> perhaps the most important part—humans relied heavily on their sight, after all—but decided it wasn’t the time. It was practically impossible to look at him, anyway.</p>
<p>So Picard closed his eyes, the water lapping gently against his body like a sentient being, and let Q, and everything he thought and felt, engulf him.</p>
<p>When he awoke, he was in Sickbay and there were tears in his eyes. Even after all this time, he had no idea Q felt that way about him – he had no idea Q felt anything at all. Hearing it was one thing, but <em>feeling</em> it so directly…Picard couldn’t seem to stop crying.</p>
<p>“Jean-Luc,” Beverly said, her smile wobbly as she placed a warm hand on his shoulder. “You gave us all quite a scare.”</p>
<p>Wincing, Picard reached up to wipe away his tears, and then he took her hand in his. His body was still impossibly sore, but Q must have healed the worst of it. “I’m sorry. What happened to the Denchites?”</p>
<p>She raised her eyebrow, but didn’t ask how he knew what they were called. “They withdrew when they realized they had nearly killed you, but they took a moment to share some information about themselves with Data. He added a file for them in the ship’s logs if you’d like to read it.” She was quiet for a moment as she ran a tricorder over him. “Did Q save you again?”</p>
<p>He let out a shaky breath. “Yes. Beverly… No one’s ever felt this way about me before, I’m sure of it.”</p>
<p>She looked skeptical for a second, but then kindly hid the expression. Picard couldn’t really blame her – he hadn’t believed it himself, after all, until he had felt it.</p>
<p>“I dislike owing him favors, but…I’m thankful you’re still here. And I’m thankful you’re happy.” She smiled and squeezed his hand. “But know that I will use every power at my disposal to keep you in this bed until you fully recover.”</p>
<p>“I promise I’ll be good.” Picard laughed, and was thankful for her, too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Picard was still thinking about Q’s revelations when the <em>Enterprise</em> docked at Starbase 121 for routine maintenance. It was that time again when his entire crew was essentially wrestling him off the <em>Enterprise</em> for some shore leave, so he wandered around the Starbase, trying to decide if he wanted to actually <em>go </em>anywhere or if he should just stay onsite. (He had <em>not</em> accepted anything from Riker this time.)</p>
<p>His thoughts had been drifting to Q a lot lately. Q had never shared so much with him before. In fact, Picard wasn’t sure Q had ever shared <em>anything</em> with him before, until then. His favorite place, his true form, those overwhelming feelings and truths…</p>
<p>Picard was still reeling from all of it.</p>
<p>“Not a dreaded vacation,” Q drawled, suddenly walking next to him.</p>
<p>Picard bit back a smile and pressed his shoulder to Q’s briefly. “I know, it’s horrible. I’m being punished for something, I’m sure.”</p>
<p>“You do have a sadistic doctor onboard,” Q agreed and then turned to walk backwards in front of Picard. He had a big smirk on his face, and a devilish glint in his eye. “Luckily for you, I can take you anywhere you want. Anytime, even.”</p>
<p>Picard pretended to think about it, but there was really only one place he wanted to be.</p>
<p>“You are so incredibly boring sometimes,” Q grouched, dramatically flopping onto Picard’s bed on the <em>Enterprise</em>.</p>
<p>“You can make it so I won’t be detected by the sensors, right?” Picard asked, setting his comm badge down on his desk.</p>
<p>Q sighed loudly and snapped his fingers. “You’re lucky I think you’re cute.”</p>
<p>Picard smirked and joined him on the bed, crawling over him. They kissed lazily for a moment, before Picard remembered the real reason why he had wanted to come back here.</p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” he started.</p>
<p>Q groaned and threw his head back against the pillow. “You sure do love <em>talking</em>, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“You can’t just pretend that what you said before wasn’t important!” Picard snapped. “It’s important to <em>me </em>that you shared those things. You shared something intimately personal, which I’ve never known you to do, so…I want to return the favor.”</p>
<p>Q frowned and sat up as Picard moved off of him and over to his desk. “Ugh, you humans can never just <em>do</em> anything – you always have to sit down and talk it out! Over and over and over until none of you can even remember what you agreed on.”</p>
<p>Picard ignored him. “I know we can’t have…well, what I would call a <em>real</em> relationship. I’m assuming that if we were ever to…settle down, the Q Continuum wouldn’t be very happy about that. They’d do to us what they did to Amanda’s parents, right?”</p>
<p>“Settle down? Who said anything about settling down?” Q squawked. “Popping in and out is hardly settling down!”</p>
<p>“Right, and I’m fine with that – perfectly happy, in fact. I don’t want you distracting me more than you do already.” Picard pointedly ignored Q’s smug smirk. “The point it, we’re in as much of a serious relationship as you’re allowed to be. And because of that…there’s something I want to show you. Something that I think will finally make you understand why I don’t want you to keep saving my life.”</p>
<p>“Oh, well, then <em>please</em> – I <em>have</em> to see that.” Q rolled his eyes, voice heavy with sarcasm.</p>
<p>Picard picked up the flute case sitting on his desk. Popping open the lid, he gently ran his fingers over the smooth material. He always got a bit sentimental when he thought about this flute, about the whole other life he had lived.</p>
<p>There was some part of him that didn’t quite trust Q enough to hand it over to him. If he broke it, or damaged it, not realizing its significance…</p>
<p>But no. This was about trust, if nothing else.</p>
<p>He turned to find Q already standing directly behind him. He held the case out to him, and watched stiffly as Q picked the flute out. He wasn’t necessarily gentle with it, but he wasn’t careless either, just turning it around and around to examine it.  </p>
<p>“I’ve already lived much more than I was supposed to,” he said. “I spent a whole other lifetime on another planet, in a community called Ressik. I married someone, I grew old with her, I had <em>children</em>. My children had children, and I was a grandfather. I played this flute while I was there, and my son did as well. It means more to me than I could ever express with words.”</p>
<p>He offers Q a small smile. “But the point is that I already got my extra chance at life. It would be greedy and selfish of me to demand another one.”</p>
<p>“…Can’t you <em>be</em> selfish, just this once?” Q asked, frowning as he placed the flute back into its case. Picard placed the flute back on his desk and then took Q’s hands in his, squeezing them until Q looked up to meet his eyes.</p>
<p>“I know my own lifespan isn’t much of a time frame for you,” Picard said, smiling. “But it’s all I’ve got.”</p>
<p>“You’re so stubborn, Jean-Luc,” Q said, reaching up to trace his fingers along his jaw. “But <em>fine</em>, alright. I suppose you wouldn’t still be you if you weren’t bound to the rules of reality you’ve always lived by.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Picard dropped Q’s hands and straightened his shirt. “Now that that’s settled, you wouldn’t possibly know of some way I could spend my horrid vacation, would you?”</p>
<p>Q smirked. “You know, I just might.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>28 Human Years Later</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>“An android body. Really?” Q drawled, suddenly lying next to him.</p>
<p>Picard’s eyes shot open. He was lying in his quarters on Rios’s ship, on their way back to Earth. It had been some time since he had seen Q; he hadn’t even really had time to think about him with everything going on with Dahj and Soji. It was good to see him.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Picard said, delicately stretching out his toes. He still wasn’t quite used to the new body, even though in a lot of ways it wasn’t that different. “It wasn’t my decision.”</p>
<p>Q snorted. “So, what, you make a big fuss about <em>me</em> making you immortal, and then let them put you into this…machine?”</p>
<p>“This body isn’t immortal – I made sure of that,” Picard said forcefully. Then he tilted his head a bit as a thought occurred to him. “With everything going on, I hardly realized but… You didn’t try to save me this time, did you? For a moment there, I <em>did</em> die.”</p>
<p>“…Yes, you did.” Q wasn’t looking at him, but up at the ceiling. “You had it coming, you know, trancing around the galaxy without me.”</p>
<p>Picard chuckled. “I have been doing that for most of my life, you know.”</p>
<p>“Can’t imagine why. I’m delightful.”</p>
<p>Picard smirked and rolled onto his stomach to look at him. “I have many eye witnesses that would testify against that statement.”</p>
<p>Q grinned – he was always delighted by other people’s misery. “And what about you? What’s your witness account?”</p>
<p>Picard reached out to rub his thumb along Q’s cheek, a fond smile on his face. “…Jury’s still out on that one.”</p>
<p>“It’s been thirty of your years, Jean-Luc, and you still can’t admit that you love me.” Q rolled his eyes, but leaned into Picard’s touch. “You are the most stubborn thing in the galaxy.”</p>
<p>“I’ve said it before, once or twice,” Picard said, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you were ‘all-knowing’?”</p>
<p>“I am – it’s the only reason I put up with you.”</p>
<p>Picard snorted. “<em>You</em> putting up with <em>me</em>? It’s the other way around, I assure you.”</p>
<p>Q smiled lazily. “Yeah? Then what’s <em>your</em> reason?”</p>
<p>Picard shrugged, lying back down to stare up at the ceiling. “I guess you grew on me. Like a fungus.”</p>
<p>“I’ve been a fungus before – it’s a lot more fun than you’d think.”</p>
<p>Picard chuckled. “How in the world did I get stuck with you?”</p>
<p>Q let out a long sigh. “Dunno. I never should’ve gotten curious about humans – it was my downfall.”</p>
<p>“You know what they say – curiosity killed the cat.”</p>
<p>“Humans have such morbid expressions,” Q said, and rolled on top of Picard. “I enjoy them immensely.”</p>
<p>“Of course you do,” Picard rolled his eyes, and then closed them as Q leaned down and kissed him. It had been a while since they were together – not since Picard had left France, at least. Q’s visits were often random, as it was hard for him to keep track of time the way Picard did. Sometimes there were only days between his visits; sometimes years. It was the strangest relationship Picard had ever been in, but it worked for the two of them. Picard enjoyed his alone time; it allowed him time to focus on his work, and he always knew Q would stop by eventually.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you’re not dead, Jean-Luc,” Q murmured after a while, barely pulling back to speak. “I’m not quite ready to give you up yet.”</p>
<p>“I’m <em>hoping</em> for 10, maybe 20, years still,” Picard said, stroking his cheek. “My…<em>inventors</em> weren’t very forthcoming with how much time exactly I have left.”</p>
<p>Q was silent, and Picard opened his eyes. “…You know, don’t you? When I’m going to die.”</p>
<p>“I tried not to look, but time doesn’t really work like that for me.” Q rolled off of him and laid on his back again, his shoulder pressed to Picard’s. “It’s more…<em>how</em> than when anyway.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to know,” Picard said quickly, and for some reason Q chuckled.</p>
<p>“I know that by now. We know each other too well, unfortunately.”</p>
<p>“Indeed.” Picard chuckled and reached to find Q’s hand, squeezing his fingers. “I don’t know how I got stuck with you, but I’m glad that I did. I know I don’t say it often, but it’s true.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know either. Every Q has a few things—people, places, phenomena, what have you—that they can’t escape from, no matter what time or universe it is. Something they keep coming back to, again and again. A universal constant, of a sort.” Q turned to look at him. “I guess you’re mine, Jean-Luc.”</p>
<p>Picard smiled, and pressed forward to leave a brief kiss on his lips. “You’re lucky. It could’ve been Guinan.”</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t even <em>joke</em> about something like that,” Q exclaimed, mouth twisting down into a sneer.</p>
<p>Picard chuckled and laid back down on the bed. Really, he was lucky too. Even though Q was insufferable and annoying at times, there were a hell of a lot worse beings to get tied to. Picard didn’t mind the cards he’d been dealt, and he wouldn’t trade them for all of the winnings in the world.   </p>
<p>The two of them laid there together in silence for a bit, both staring up at the ceiling. Then Q turned his head to look at him. “Are you still…functional?”</p>
<p>Picard snorted and this time rolled on top of him. “Why don’t you find out?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>10, or Maybe 20, Human Years Later</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Q stood on the outskirts of the crowd surrounding Picard’s coffin. He made sure Riker and Worf and all the others couldn’t see him – he didn’t want to be judged. Not here. Not now.</p>
<p>It was a relatively small, personal gathering. Picard hadn’t wanted a huge Starfleet send-off, especially after all that had happened, and instead had only wanted his closest friends to attend. But he was lucky, because he had a lot of people that he considered close friends. Q was sure he was counted among them, but he was less sure that Picard’s other friends would think the same.</p>
<p>And he just couldn’t deal with that.</p>
<p>They’d had fifty good years together. Well, 49 if one counted the year Picard got so depressed about being stuck on his vineyards after he resigned from Starfleet that he forbade anyone to see him, even Q, but really, who was counting? Q had tried desperately not to count, because if he had to count that, then he also had to count how many years Picard had left, and that would always be too painful to consider.</p>
<p>Q had been…happy. Or whatever the closest thing to happy was for a Q. Content. Satisfied. He hadn’t cared that Picard had never really told anyone that they were still together because their relationship wasn’t the type of thing where Q went to every friend gathering, or hung off of Picard, or whatever it was that humans did in relationships.</p>
<p>It hadn’t bothered him until this precise moment, when he realized that none of Picard’s friends even expected him to be here. He had always popped in and out, so for all they knew, he was half-way across the galaxy, completely unaware that Jean-Luc Picard was dead.</p>
<p>The worst part was that Q <em>hadn’t</em> been there when Picard died. He hadn’t even been anywhere near this solar system, instead caught up in boring legalities on Tomerela IV where he’d gotten into some trouble. He had traveled back to Earth, eager to tell Picard about the <em>hilarious</em> prank he had miraculously gotten away with, only to find Picard dead in his bed. He had presumably died in his sleep, as he had been in perfect health otherwise. But the man had been in his 110s, so it was only a matter of time.</p>
<p>It still came as a horrible shock. For a long time, Q had just stood there, staring at him. Q had come dressed in an old French-style suit, because Picard always love-hated when he did that and Q had been in a festive mood, but now everything abruptly seemed pointless. He reverted back to his true form and then, when even that was too much, he reduced himself to virtual nothingness.</p>
<p>He stayed in this form for a couple of days, hovering as not-quite-a-presence around Picard’s bed as his friends discovered him and made arrangements for his burial. He refused to think. He refused to feel. Sometimes, he refused to exist.</p>
<p>But Q was immortal, so he couldn’t entirely cease to exist, which had never felt like such a burden until now.</p>
<p>It was ironic that it was only now that Q was starting to understand Picard’s insistence.</p>
<p>He had never experienced loss like this before. All of his friends previously had been immortal. And even with Jean-Luc, Q existed in all times, all places, so it was always going back and forth and meeting him again. He’d done it hundreds of times already. But he knew what the Jean-Luc Picard of this timeline would say – he would hate it. He would claim that it was just the same as Q making him immortal. And after living in this timeline, Q couldn’t think he could go through that all again, meeting him, facing Picard’s hatred.</p>
<p>So he had decided to let Jean-Luc go, for good. The grief he felt because of his decision was nearly unbearable.</p>
<p>It hit him in strange ways he hadn’t expected. Q found himself appearing on the <em>Enterprise</em>, expecting to find Picard even though it had been years since he had set foot there. He absolutely terrified the current crew, which at one time would’ve delighted him, but now just made him feel hollow inside. He took the flute Picard had shown him, the one from his other life. Q didn’t have possessions—they didn’t need them—and once Q took it with him, he realized he didn’t really know what to do with it. He could only turn it into nothingness, and then bring it back again, which he did quite often.</p>
<p>He had even returned to the Continuum for a while. It was an incredibly boring place to be, as there was literally nothing to do. No one even <em>talked</em> to one another. It was why Q had left in the first place, to go stir up trouble just to have something to do. He didn’t generally go back to the Continuum unless he was summoned—he much preferred exploring the galaxy and wreaking havoc—but as it was now, a whole lot of nothing seemed preferable.</p>
<p>But maybe the place had changed, or maybe Q was so noticeably miserable, because now no one seemed to leave him alone.</p>
<p><em>What’s wrong with you, Q?</em> Q had asked him once.</p>
<p>Q didn’t want to tell him – he knew he wouldn’t understand. <em>Go away.</em></p>
<p><em>You know, if I didn’t know any better,</em> Q said, not going away but instead floating into his space and emitting pure mirth and teasing, so much so that even Q found it offensive, <em>I’d say you were depressed.</em> </p>
<p><em>Maybe I am,</em> Q grumbled, and put his entire being into it. <strong><em>GO AWAY!</em></strong></p>
<p><em>Alright, alright.</em> Q was suddenly cross. <em>You’ve been different, Q, since you met that…</em>human<em>.</em></p>
<p>Q left the Continuum again soon after that. It was too oppressive, being around other omnipotent beings that could read every emotion pouring off of him like a picture book. He wandered around the galaxy, visiting old haunts that he had so enjoyed in the past, but he no longer found any amusement from tormenting them. Nothing sparked the joy that had come so easily just being around Picard. Even Havumi was tainted with the memories of their time there together.</p>
<p>This was stupid. <em>He</em> was stupid. Why did he even care? Picard was just a small blip in Q’s eternal life – there was no reason to miss him.  </p>
<p>But he did miss him, terribly. Even though Q had spent longer amounts of time away from him than this, knowing that he could never just pop back in and see Picard roll his eyes at him again was unbearable.</p>
<p>He had planned to wallow in his misery in every place in the galaxy. That way, it would go on for a long time, and he wouldn’t just move on, like he had with every other thing in his life. He didn’t want to alleviate the pain. Mourning him seemed to be the only way to honor Picard that he would actually approve of.</p>
<p>Stupid, wonderful, stubborn human.</p>
<p>He hadn’t planned on going to his funeral, but here he was.</p>
<p>Q watched as Picard’s body was jettisoned out into space. It was fitting, he supposed – Picard had loved space more than anything. It was where he had always wanted to be, and he was miserable if he was stuck on any planet for too long. Q would’ve loved to take him to more planets. Picard would’ve loved the Delta Quadrant.</p>
<p>Q watched Picard’s body drift away, and wondered just what he was going to do with himself now. He almost, <em>almost</em> broke his promise to Picard and snapped him to life again. But he knew Picard would be furious with him, and Q couldn’t bear to face that. They had had some good moments together, near the end.</p>
<p>There was some dumb human expression for this too, wasn’t there? Loving someone so much you had to let them go.</p>
<p>What a stupid species. He should’ve left them alone all those timelines ago.</p>
<p>But as he stood there, staring out at the body that was once Jean-Luc Picard, Q couldn’t bring himself to regret it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chat with me on <a href="https://twitter.com/kaoru_of_hakone">twitter</a> ! Also, if you're on twitter, follow my <a href="https://twitter.com/tngooc">next gen out of context account </a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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